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Is it a good idea to have another baby right now?

im young with a 1 year old son. My husband and I have talked about having another and we BOTHE want one BUT my son is so young. He will be 1 year old in 8 days. My husband is about to change jobs (better pay, better insurance, better everything.) I know we will be able to support another one. But the things pop into my head like "my son just reached the point were we can leave him with grandma over night and be able to get some alone time." We dont leave him often. its only happened once and that was almost 1 month ago. My husband and I are very content being parents and giving up our lives for our children. But again, Im young. Ive been fighting with this desire to have another for awhile now. Everytime I think of having another I remember my son 1 year ago when we brought him home. Im wondering if i just miss him being little or if I really do want another one. PLEASE HELP! I know you cant tell me what I do & do not want but i mean just some advice would help. thnx.

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agapelittlemama

Asked by agapelittlemama at 11:38 AM on Jun. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • im also young, 19. my DD will be 1 on 8/22. i want another one more than anything, i love the idea of having them close together and younger so we'll get them outta the house early!..and just b/c i want my babies close in age! SO on the other hand doesnt want another one, he thinks we cant afford another one, which we could, easily! the more i think about it though, i think having another one would run me down..and id never have any time for SO. i love being a mommy, but also need some time w/out them. we've decided to wait a year and talk about it when shes 2.
    each couple is different though, talk to your hubby and see how he feels, if you both want another..and its not just you missin your LO being little, then i say go for it!
    kelcee_eric_bry

    Answer by kelcee_eric_bry at 11:47 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Do what feels right to you.
    SuperMommy0212

    Answer by SuperMommy0212 at 11:52 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I agree with SuperMommy. You need to do what feels right for your family. There are pros and cons to waiting and leaping in with both feet. Which side carries more weight, though, is TOTALLY dependent on your families best interest.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I get "baby fever" (that's what I call it) now and then but it usually goes away. My daughter is 2 1/2. I use to get it a lot when she was younger. I think I miss her being a baby. I want to experience seeing my baby for the first time...again! I really want another when I watch video of when she was a baby or when I look at newborn pics.
    I think about it logically and change my mind. I thought about how it would affect her & how it would affect a new baby. I wanted her to have all my attention and love. She's still "my baby". Also I want to be able to give a new baby a lot of attention and have time to bond with a new one. Another thing was "me time". I don't have any now. So how much stress would be on me with 2 kids. My SO works A LOT, so I'm the main/only caregiver.There aren't "grandparents", if there were it could be easier. We could def. afford it, but I would go NUTS...LOL...literally.
    vano0528

    Answer by vano0528 at 12:05 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • When Dr. Elliott Barker was hired to do counselling by a prison for the dangerously insane, he discovered that a child's first 4 years are crucial and irreversible. He also discovered how completely ignorant society is about young children's critically important needs. Please, please, go to Empathic Parenting and read about closely spaced children. Fulfilling the very real emotional needs of a preschooler takes devotion. My first two were 18 months apart, I was a devoted full-time mom with Waldorf special ed experience, so I knew a lot. But I didn't know I was breaking my toddler's heart. I still tear up when I think of him feeling sometimes sad and lost after he had to share his beloved mother, the light of his life and the very air he breathed with someone new in the family. Empathic Parenting knows what they're talking about. Check them out. Best wishes!
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 1:27 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I believe that there are positive and negative sides to having children close together in age. The fact remains that most doctors do agree that children should be spaced 18 months apart in age at the least in order for your body to recover from pregnancy. I would make a list of the pros and cons to having another baby close in age to your first born. I would ask friends of yours that have siblings close in age how they felt about having siblings close in age to them. Explore the idea from every aspect, not just your own viewpoint. I am sure you will make the right decision for you and your family once you view things from all sides.
    pinkcalla721

    Answer by pinkcalla721 at 9:04 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

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