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How can I help my friend whos child was just 'molested'?

I am not sure where to start with this, but here is goes. I just found out that a friend of mine's daughter who is 10 was improperly approached by a 12 year old friend. The moms of the kids have been friends since they were born. However, the daughter told her mom this past week that she felt uncomfortable cause the 12 yr old asked her to 'touch him'. Everyone is upset as you can imagine and the moms friendship is pretty much ruined. I am NOT standing up for the 12 year old but i wonder how much of it was general curosity. What I am wondering is if she should have her daughter seek help? Thank god her daughter felt secure enough to talk to my friend, but my firend is so distraught and upset and feels she is to blame ( i tell her she isnt) so any recommendations on how i can help?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • honestly i couldnt follow the story to well with who's friend is who's whom did what but......12 knows better to not touch someone else without permission. That is almost a teenager they should know better. Asking them to touch them is one thing....the other person can get offended but it isnt harassment unless the issue is pushed onto the person being asked. The 12 year old needs to be taught how to take care of their own feelings if you know what I mean instead of asking other people....that is still a little too young to be getting sexually active and if it cant be stopped then time to talk about safe sex!!!!

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 12:02 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • the 12 yr old boy asked the 10 yr old girl to touch him. The girl got upset when he kept asking her and she kept saying no.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Just be there for your friend and let them know that your always there for them

    Answer by Aimee789135 at 6:08 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Before we past judgetment on a child, get to the bottom of it, do not let each child feel bad, talk to your friend and have them have a set down with each other and have one with the children, there are two sides to a story, I say this because I was molested when I was a child. My circumstance was different. Now that you know make sure you take it to the adult, but please do not get crazy, get the children help that it will not happen agsin, I have a 10 yr old and she is taught not to touch or let anyone touch you. This a sad situattion, please get the babies help so this will not happen to anyoneelse.

    Answer by Blesstravelmom at 4:51 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • First off, 12 year old should know better... props to the girl for talking to her mom! Boy needs a good talking to about respecting privacy, and the kids shouldn't be left alone, and shouldn't have been. Friends can get through a lot but we all still have motherly insticts. I think the mom of the girl needs to relize how she would feel if someone was accusing her child of this. Natural protecting automatically kicks in. She needs to talk with her friend and explain although she is disappointed by his actions, there is no reason to be upset with eachother. My best friends are like my sisters! and i couldn't imagine losing them. Luckily nothing else happened and she has taught her daughter very well. And in the future avoid situations that could lead to bad situations. I hope everything works out!!

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 9:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • okay. so the 12yr. old boy asked her to touch him. i would be more concerned about the boy. either its curiousity or something along those lines or i would worry that he had been molested by someone. and the 10 yr old girl. you might get her some counseling. this shouldn't ruin their parents friendship since nothing was actually done. but this does seem like a good time for both children to talk to their parents and counselors about what happened and their feelings about what happened.

    i was molested as a child. and i don't remember being asked to do anything!

    this sucks, but right now i think you need to encourage your friend to communicate with her friend (parent of the boy) to find out what exactly was going on and how to help both of the kids.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:27 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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