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Why does writting about stillborn babies get you launched to number 1 most popular journal?

Sometimes I can't believe 90% of what I hear on cafemom. Who asks for strangers to pray for them? And after such a tragedy wouldn't you think the last thing they want to do is go on cafemom and announce to everyone they had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or that their child just died? A lot of these people write about it within 24 hours of it happening and the journal is launched to number 1. I just want to know why?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • Support?

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 3:02 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I have never understood that either. If something tragic happened to my child getting online and posting to strangers would be the last thing on my mind.

    Answer by Magpie75 at 3:13 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • it wasn't the mom that posted that journal it was someone that knew about it

    Answer by bubbleburst1 at 3:18 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Even if it was the mom you can't tell someone how to grieve.
    There is no right or wrong way.
    I didn't stop talking about my son for a very long time after he died.
    Yes he was stillborn at 42 weeks due to cord asphyxiation in the birth canal.
    The mom gets to share her thoughts and feelings without having to see the sadness and dealing with the uncomfortable silence that normally happens when you tell someone your baby died.
    People stop coming by after a while, sending cards or calling. They don't know what to say and they may not want to be around someone who is grieving.
    So until you have walked in those shoes please don't cast judgement.
    Do you know how many people know about stillbirths compared to miscarriages or SIDS?
    Do you know how many women walk into a hospital carrying a live baby and leave empty handed?
    I wish I had known about stillbirths so I could have been a little more prepared.
    Enjoy your weekend.

    Answer by AussieMum2 at 3:31 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I have been in a couple of those situations you listed at least once and I can tell you that I would not be anywhere near my computer after it happened. However those were different times. Whereas once the Internet was just a place to play it has become very much real life for some people. For those individuals, the people on the other side of the screen are the only interaction and/or friendships that they have. On one hand it's kind of a sad commentary on today's world that friendships have literally become two dimensional. On the other hand how many of these women would have no support at all with out the cafemom community or other online friends. I know for myself I was left to work through it basically alone with almost no family or close friends for support. I managed and moved on but like I said those were different times then. You turn to your friends in those times and for some people friends live in the computer.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 3:54 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I think that a lot of women view it as a cross between a diary / journal, so writing about it is a way to process what happened, and to make it "real" for them, because it's almost like on the one hand, it's totally, painfully real, but on the other hand, they're in this unreal fog about it.

    And they're hoping that they can find someone, anyone, that can relate to it, and who can help them with it, but at the same time, the people they reach are also strangers, so they don't have to deal with their grief, too, Because as much as they appreciate the mourning of other family and friends, coping with their reactions too can add to the pain sometimes.

    I think the posts become so popular is because so many of us have either lost a child and know that pain, or live with a secret fear of "what if that was MY baby", and so we reach out to them.

    I don't think it's for drama or attention, I think it's a way to grieve and process it.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:55 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • This is the way I see it, sometimes it helps just to write things out either on paper or your computer. She is either looking for support from other moms who have been through it or she is just getting her feelings and frustrations out over what happened. I do not feel it is done for attention and I feel they are the most popular because we are mothers and that motherly instinct (well for some) kicks in and we can sympathize in some way with the person grieving.


    Answer by lapcounter at 9:46 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I agree with sailor, and for those who don't like it don't read it. Can't get more simple than that.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • i would prolly do that...i would post it annon but still its like therapy for get it out. and if they feel they need that to public to maybe fish for those kind words and thoughts...knowing out there that someone is thinking of you makes ppl feel special.

    Answer by Shannon85 at 11:37 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • These answers do not answer my question: Why are all these posts number 1? I can understand why people write about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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