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Did you start out spoiling your man and now regret it?

Has any of you ever spoiled your man in the beginning of your relationship and then over time you get tired of it and realize you made him spoiled and don't know how to stop. I did and now I feel like its my fault I have to do so much for him because I trained him to expect it by spoiling him so bad in the beginning.

 
nannabart

Asked by nannabart at 3:08 AM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I enjoyed waiting on him when we were first married until I noticed that when I got home from work I cooked and did laundry and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, and he sat down and read the paper. After a couple weeks of this I told him that there was something wrong with this picture- we both worked at the same place, so it wasn't as though his job was harder than mine or longer hours, I said we work the same and we need to share the household chores. He said that his mother, who'd been a SAHM, did all the housework, so he never thought of it, but he did take over a share of the work after that. When I became a SAHM I did more of the chores and waiting on him, but when I needed him to- such as when I was sick- he'd step right in and help. My recommendation is to have good reasons and discuss them with him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:53 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • You say trained like he's a dog. He's a grown man let him do stuff for himself.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 3:18 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Wow, can anyone tonight just try to help without the sarcasm and snottiness??? Every question I have gone to there is someone being a witch. JEEZ!
    I know what you meant and yes I did the same thing in the beginning and they do over time seem to appreciate it less. Just start doing less and less for him and hopefully he will start doing things for himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I did. I started out being nice by making his dinner plate and delivering it to him at the computer/tv etc. After several years I now want to throw the salt shaker/fork/pepper, etc at thim each time he interrupts me to go out of my way to bring it to him. I swear, he will yell and yell for me while I am in the shower if he needs salsa, flatwear, or even a second helping of food. I still have not put my foot down and regret it to this day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Hey anon, you said the same thing I did only you bitched in the beginning about me being a "sarcastic."
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 4:36 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • mine don't go that far as to yell for me but he will just sit there with an empty coffee cup or just sit and wait for his dinner instead of serving himself. He is polite about it but Its so frustrating that he don't just do it for himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I think we all did, and I bet if you remind him....he has forgotten some of the things he did for you in the beginning! Just do your best to be a loving wife, and when he gets too demanding, remind him that now you also have children to tend to...and you need his help as well!

    MamaDiane

    Answer by MamaDiane at 6:07 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • No I have never regretted it because he does it in return.

    lapcounter

    Answer by lapcounter at 9:50 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • It's the same game women play all the time. Do what ever you can to catch the man. Then once you've got him the real you comes out. It's really sad. Then those same wives and girlfriends who now have changed so completely wonder why their men cheat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • yea we were dating, but i was pretty much living with him...it was like a week into things and i needed to do my laundry so i took all his clothes with mine...he loved it! but now almost 5yrs later he has yet to do laundry....he'll help me carry it to the laundry mat, but he doesnt put it in the washers or anything!
    Shannon85

    Answer by Shannon85 at 11:29 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

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