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My daugher-in-law just brought home her new baby girl from the hospital and her 18 month old boy is having a difficult time accepting his new baby sister. He is waking in the night crying and whines and cries all day. My poor daughter in law is having a tough time. Any and all advice for babies so close in age would be welcome!

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Asked by tingro at 11:25 AM on Mar. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • If the kids don't share a room tell her to try some low music or white noise to block out the baby crying. Also tell her to make sure she is giving him plenty of one on one time, when I brought home my second dd my first was 21 mo. old, I would sit on the couch with the oldest and just cuddle and talk when the baby was sleeping, we would also watch movies together. It was important to let her know she wasn't being replaced but because I had a c-section I could not pick her up so when she needed me she told me "couch please" Also tell her to try to keep big brother on his schedule and remember that not everything has to be done and if she can enlist some help during the day. I hope this helps some.

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 11:38 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • My kids are 6, 4, and 2. The key is that even tho shes going to be exausted, shes got to give her oldest some POSITIVE attention. Like when baby's asleep, mom could cuddle with him and watch a movie. Or if mom wants to take a nap, let him sleep WITH her. Also, when its time to change the baby I would always ask my oldest "Will u get baby brother a diaper for me? thank you soo much! what a good big brother!" you know? make them feel included and helpful. Thats what kids like to do b/c right now he's feeling left out of all the fuss!!

    Answer by MamaCass2003 at 11:40 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Is she including him in the baby stuff? And did she include him before the baby was born?
    My oldest was 15 months when I brought home my 2nd and he was 13 months old when I brought home my third (my oldest was 28 months) and I never had any issues but I always kept them involved. They loved to help with the baby. When I was feeding the baby they would sit next to me and pet her or help hold the bottle. They helped fetch diapers and clothes for the baby, helped bathe her, dress her, etc. And when the baby was sleeping she was in her bed so I could focus all my attention on the older kids.
    They need to feel like the baby doesn't always come before them and the baby shouldn't. And he should feel like he is part of the baby's life.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:54 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • try and let him hold him and interact with her- one on one side and one on the other! or even put the girl in a bouncer so the boy can still see her while the mother is interacting with him - somehow he needs to bond with her too

    Answer by tonipaffel at 12:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • spend extra time when babies sleeping (they do all the time).
    have him help out (with changing etc)
    make big deal about him and all the things he can do and will have the chance to teach lil sis.
    There are also a ton of books about being the big brother and having a new baby at home etc.
    Turn it from an attention losing situation, to an attention getting: LOok this is MY sister, MY baby, Look at the awes0me big bro etc.
    Answer LOTS of questions. My son would help me sing lullabie when his little sis ter would not sleep etc. (He would help pick a good song and sing it and follow me as I paced up and down etc.)

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 1:00 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • My son was 3 1/2 when my oldest daughter was born. he'd come and sit with me and play while I napped and sit with us when i nursed the baby. Ask the older one what books he wants to read to baby to help her sleep. He can read it with adult help or tell any story at all but he himself would be nurturing baby. Congratulations Grandma!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Apr. 12, 2009

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