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How do you handle this?

Does anyone have any good advice in what to do when your kid when telling them to go to their room to cool off says "make me" and goes and hides in other parts of the house in a "stand off" defiant way. I don't go try to find her, because I think that is what she wants. A power struggle.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I agree it sounds like she is looking for the power struggle. I would just let her go hide wherever, she will come back then tell her now she still has to go to her room for what ever amount of time she was in the other place, if she goes off to other parts of the house again just keep adding up the timeuntil she decides to go in her room. But I would also make sure that she is not getting tv, computer, phone while punished in her room. I just shut off the power to DS's room if he is punished to it.  


    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:06 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Give her a choice, either go to your room or no phone, or something else you can take away. Make it her option and follow through with which ever she chooses.

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Not give her a choice.When she comes out of hideing tell her now she not going anywhere for a day but her room.Like no friends or any fun things but school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I would do the same thing. Ignore it. Let them win that battle b/c the point is for them just to go and cool off somewhere which sounds like that's exactly what they are doing.  Next time you could say "go find you spot & cool off."


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Grab her and take her to her room! DUH! Your the parent!!! She's the child! PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 12:55 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Ignore her, she is looking for a struggle. When she comes out of hiding tell her that you are taking away privieges because she didn't do what she was told. I refuse to chase my kid, he has to come back sometime and he will be doubly punished at that time. My mom used to chase my brother and she ended up looking like an idiot..running around the neighborhood yelling at him while everyone laughed and told her to chill, he has to come back sometime.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • While i believe in the importance of choosing your batlles, once you have told your child to do something, it is imperative that they do as they are told. If she won't go to her room when she is told, will she follow other instructions, like "don't do drugs". When she does not do as told, there must be consequences: you can turn off her cell phone for a week, or some other consequence that fits with your life.

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:48 PM on Mar. 29, 2009