Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How many moms pay child support to their ex?

I have joint custody 50/50 with my ex. In the state of Colorado, our judicial system believes regardless of custody, someone must pay child support. I make a decent wage at my job I have been at for 9 years. My ex also makes a decent wage but because he is self-employed, he makes it look like he makes nothing.

So, though still bitter from the ruling, I am paying him child support. I have always applauded those who pay and pay faithfully. I have never looked at it as men only though it seems to have always been the norm in America.

How many of you ladies also pay your ex child support?

Answer Question
 
kscmbz

Asked by kscmbz at 1:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Not me personally. But when my brother and his first wife divorced, she was oredered to pay child support. He was giving sole physical custody, and she was only allowed supervised visitation (she was a prescription drug addict and an RN who had been to rehab and warned at her job that she would be fired for testing positive again). She is the one who left her 3 month old and 3 year old and just took off. Anyway, long story short, she never paid my brother a dime. And the state never went after her. Which is total BS because if it were the opposite, the state would alwasy go after the father for child support.
    Good for you for paying, and doing the "right" thing even though it's not really right because your ex lied about his income and you share custody 50/50. That doesn't seem fair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Anon, have your brother go after her. Child support agencies have so many cases that some fall through the cracks. Going after someone for back support isn't always automatice.

    OP, good for you for paying support, you are doing the right thing although ex isn't by lying about his income. That is just don't right.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:14 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I am sorry to hear that Colorado has such ridiculous laws regarding child support. If there is joint custody the only thing that makes sense to me is possibly splitting who is responsible for relevant expenses such as health insurance, school trips, or tuition, etc. Neither party should be ordered to pay the other party. Is there anyway you could prompt the court to audit his business, if he is hiding assests/income because of potential child support he may be doing so for tax reasons as well........

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 2:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • anon -- they won't go after people when the child is not recieving govt. aide. Its up to the custodial parent to go into CSE and ask for enforcement and then harrass them until they start something. I am a mother, and our case has been in limbo for well lests say going on 3 years since they started to show interest.
    OP -- that sucks. There's gotta be a way.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 3:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • The kicker is he hasn't filed taxes in 10 years!!!! The judge didn't bat an eye. His current wife (3rd one) brings in almost 6000/mo. The judge made it clear that my ex is living off his current wife, but since her income cannot be taken into account(here is the kicker---he allowed her income to come into play for the bills!!!!) then he needs my help.

    In Colorado, you have to prove the parent to be unfit as a parent in ways such as child abuse, abandonment/no home etc..... this is what I would have to show in order to gain custody here. Having no money is not an unfit parent...it just means that the other parent has just taken on another child to care for!!!

    Beleive me ladies, what goes around comes around. Did you know you can file criminal charges on someone for purgery? Dammmm and I have the goods to prove it. Always remember---TRANSCRIPTS from the court are your best friend!!!

    Thanks ladies.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 4:30 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.