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Am I crazy for being mad at my husband for asking me to go back to work? We put money aside so I could raise our 9 month old little girl til she was at school age, but now he wants me to go back to work. What should I do?

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Asked by Penguinchick76 at 2:20 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Money & Work

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Answers (53)
  • I'm in the same boat you are in. My husband wants me to work and I feel bad for not working, but before our son was born we made it priority for me not to work. I would sit down and ask him to figure in day care, gas to and from work, lunches at work, and so on....sometimes it's not worth it. I would just stand your ground if you feel that staying home is what you want to do. That is what I did and yes we have it rough but my son has everything he needs plus me at home with him

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 2:24 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I say, do whatever it takes to keep your family afloat.
    But let him know that your whole paycheck could go to childcare. Then what's the point?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • My dh and I had battles about this when I first child was born. I stood my ground and he eventually saw that mothering my child was an important job. So we cut our budget and eliminated unnecessary things like cable, cell phone, eating out, ect. He is now happy that I have spent my time raising our children.

    Dont let him bully you into doing what you dont feel you should do. Sometimes men worry ONLY about the money issues. I know those are important as well, but sometimes you have to do a little bit of shaving the budget to get to do it.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 2:39 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • It doesn't sound like he's bullying you, just that he asked you to go back to work. Did you get some more bills? In financial trouble? Late payments on credit/mortgage? Maybe he thinks you're not doing a good job staying at home, like not doing chores, hanging out with friends all day, or hanging out on the computer. You guys need to talk about why he wants you to go back to work because he might have some valid reason.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I seriously don't get why mothers are so against working. Why be so dependant on your husband? If he asked you to go back to work, he obviously either thinks your getting too lazy or you need the money. Sometime childcare is all that money is going to go to, but at least you'll get out of the house and be your own woman. Jesus...

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Why is your husband changing his mind? Is he concerned that he will get laid off? What would your financial stability be if he does? Is he, perhaps, wanting to save more for your child's education, a safety cushion, for unexpected expenses like medical? Perhaps he's feeling a lot of pressure from being the sole income provider? Perhaps he would like the opportunity to stay home with your daughter-- after all, he's missing out on a lot by being at work while you get to enjoy being with your little one and sharing all of her first wonders.

    Although my husband makes enough for me to stay home, we decided I would continue working due to several factors: 1) negative impact on my career, 2) increased savings for vacations, education, emergencies, 3) financial security, and 4) less pressure for him to keep his job in case he absolutely hates it (I love mine).


    Answer by Busimommi at 3:01 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I really wanted to be a SAHM with my youngest (wasn't financialy able with my older two) and my husband really wanted me to but I found a solution. I work part time (some nights every weekend).

    Answer by pagirl71 at 3:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Hey there I am a mother of 4 kids and I have stayed home with all of them till they go to school!! My husband and I are in agreement on this if we were to send them to daycare it would be an arm and a leg!!!....Not to mention all the money we save by my staying home by cooking...doing kids....looking into ways to save more money.....the way we look at it is that we are saving and hence I am "making/earning" if you will a whole lot more by staying home and raising the kids and being the domestice engineer not to mention how lucky we are to be able to raise and stay with our kids till they are of school age!! You moms could also have a daycare business from home to help out with the finances. It is never easy but I as I always say it takes 2 to tango and you will achieve trust me!! Hope this input helps!!! Best of luck!

    Answer by MamaDee1976 at 4:11 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Yes you should feel somewhat betrayed, you agreed to stay home until the baby was in school. Tell him your not working to just have your check go to daycare.
    Ask him then, If he will watch the baby while you work nights and weekends. If he won't do it then tell him it's the only option. By doing this you put the ball in his court and he has to decide.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:19 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Yes you should be mad my husband told me if I saved money I could take a few mths off then decided to use the money to redo the outside of the house instead of putting it towards bills then all we did was fight about money the first 6 mths .

    Answer by aidensmom570 at 4:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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