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What do you think is the right amount of time to wait before dating when coming out of a LTR?

i am just out of a LTR with one child created with him. Everyone keeps telling me i should start dating. There is a guy who i kind of like. we get along good, people keep suggesting that we date. But i dont know if i am ready to date. Its only been a few days, though we knew it was over before that. Do you think its to early to date?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Once your heart has completely healed. Lingering emotions distort the ability to see and think clearly.

    Answer by SugaB28 at 2:55 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • i think whenever you feel that you are ready

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • At least a year. Get your life together, learn to be happy with YOU and content. Learn to be the best mom you can and how to be there emotionally for your child. Realize you don't need to be part of couple and your main job now is your child. The child shouldn't have to "fit" into another relationship. I really believe most people have the Tarzan syndrome--they don't like to let go of one relationship until they have a hold on another. I am not saying you are--but a few days??? Are you kidding me? Where is the reflection on what went wrong--where is the soul searching of how I can become even a better person and mom? How about figuring out what the child needs most? I would wait a good year, do some self-learning, be content with you and THEN perhaps look around....

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I would also add---learn to be friends with guys. Then after a year, perhaps you will know someone you really think would be a good addition to your life and your child's. If you are friends first, you have a better chance at a lasting relationship later........ Don't rush it!!!!! Your child DOES NOT need one guy after another in his life through his childhood--that is sooooo hurtful to a child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I'm going against the flow with the anon above me but at the same time agreeing with her also. I was in an abusive marriage, and my current husband got me out. We were married as soon as was legal after my divorce was final. However, I'd known the man I'm now married to for over 15 years, and we were friends all this time. So, he and I knew each other well enough to know we wanted to be together when I finally got the courage to leave my ex...something I'd been trying to get the courage to do for several years before dh came into my life as more than friends.

    Date when you feel ready. All women are different in this area. What's right for one may not be right for another...use your own judgement.

    Answer by rhope4 at 4:40 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Ideally, I'd say at least six doesn't alwasy work out that way but, I do think waiting can be a great thing. But, you said you don't know if you're ready, which to me  means you're not. And that's ok. You'll know when you're ready, you'll "feel" it. Don't let people pressure you, go at your own pace. Good luck!


    Answer by BubbaLuva at 4:56 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Take a year off or so and just be friends with this guy. Why do you have to date anyway? Discover yourself, find new interests and just be casual friends. If it's meant to be a relationship then it will evolve into just that.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:59 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I'd hold off and find out who you are. Spend some time alone and with your girlfriends. Give your self some time to be single and you will know when the time is right. When you start dating keep him away from your child until you know he is a keeper. It can be very traumatic to a child when they meet and like your date and suddenly he is gone. They could start blaming themselves and you do not want that.

    Answer by tiredgranny521 at 6:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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