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Should I say 'thank you'?

My husband and I have a disagreement about this constantly... so I need help! I have a 2 year old daughter and when she listens to what I ask her to do, such as pick up something, I thank her. My husband says I shouldn't do that, that she should just do it because that's what she's supposed to do, she shouldn't be congratulated for it. What do yall think? Am I sending the wrong message, or is he??? Thanks for the help!


Asked by Bella0308 at 5:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • Your husband seems to be confusing the act of thanking someone with the actual task being done. Even if the task is not optional (pick up your toy, stop hitting the dog, etc.), saying thank you for completing the task is in no way saying that they had an option to do it or not. At this age, mirroring behavior is key and by saying thank you, you are laying the ground work for your child to behave with respect towards others. It is also a nice reinforcement for that child that they have their parents approval when they completed something they were told to do.

    Answer by AutmnDreams at 2:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I always say thank you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • You asked her to do something, Ok ask your husband if you ask him to do something would he want you to thank him. It's called teaching your child RESPECT. Hes wrong your doing just fine keep it up. When our daughter sneezes we bless her.

    Answer by raemommy at 5:32 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I always tell my kids thank you when they do what I ask of them, and I always have. If someone asked you to do something and you did it, wouldn't you expect a thank you? Its common courtesy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I think you are correct it is teaching her how to be polite and use manners.

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 5:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Its called manners and it will take her further than money trust me. You are doing right. You are showing her respect as she will do to you. I love it when my 2 year old son tells me thank you and also to everyone else. I don't have to say "What do you say?" when someone gives him something. But you are doing right. I think your husband means well, he doesn't want you to feel obligated to thank your daughter for what she is suppose to be doing anyway. Its like giving her five dollars a day for cleaning her room when she gets older.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 5:37 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • i always say thank you

    Answer by aliciatron at 5:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • saying thank you is respectfull making a big deal with clapping and lots of smiles and hugs is a reward but saying thank you hunny is normal and respectfull children need respect just as much as adults do

    Answer by jajamama at 6:01 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I try to treat my children the way I treat anyone else. Not saying thank you to someone that has done something for you is considered rude and disrespectful and I don't want to be rude and disrespectful to my children. You're leading by example, which is wonderful. How can I expect my LO's to be respectful to me and anyone else if I'm not respectful to them? I think if you did it your husbands way, you would stunt your child and they would be more inclined to not have as good of manners.


    Answer by nwdeserangel at 6:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • You're not giving her a cookie when she performs a trick, you're teaching her common courtesy! I tell my son thank you (he's almost 3) and he tells me and others thank you as well. Kids learn by example. You are doing the right thing!

    Answer by Philyra at 6:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2009