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What are the results that you have seen from parents being selfish and not raising their own children?

So many moms think it is more important to "be their own woman" and "take care of themselves" than to raise their own child! My husband didn't see the problem with me working and paying someone else to raise our sons the majority of the time (daycare) until he saw how his cousins are all turning out. Not to say all daycare kids turn out bad, but he is seeing the results of mothers not raising their children. Now he is willing to sacrifice buying a new car, having 200 channels on satellite, going out to eat, etc, to see his children raised right. I know a lot of situations force the mom to work outside the home, I understand that. But in our situation DH makes enough to keep us going.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • My new sister in law has had her daughter in day care since she was litterally 2 weeks old. She goes for 9-10 hours a day and does sports afterward. Her kid has no respect for her mother, won't tell her she loves her, and won't listen to anything she tells her to do. She shows my brother (her stepdad) more respect than she has ever shown her own mother. She resents her for it like crazy, and they don't even know eachother.

    I wish I could stay home with my son when he's born, but I have to go back to work since I'm single. But there is no way I'm putting him in day care for that many hours a day. It would kill me.
    emmetsmom09

    Answer by emmetsmom09 at 7:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Look around at all the people who are on drugs, or addictied to alcohol, or suffer from depression. Look at the growing number of prisoners. There are a lot of negative results that have come from parents not raising their children. Often the mother was a SAHM and she still managed to F up her childrens' lives. Sad society we live in where being a mom is not nearly as important as eaning money. It is all about the money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • you know, kids end up going into a school system at some point in their life. I notice that the kindergarten students that have gone through day care and preschool are generally smarter and have more social skills.

    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 8:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I believe its all about balance, my kids periodically were both in daycare off and on and they both loved it and have learned A LOT from it. My son is going back to daycare the begining of May and my daughter has been in full time preschool since she was 3.5 years old but they both know that I am mommy and what mommy says means more than what the daycare teachers have to say. I always say quality over quantity, as long as the time im spending with my kids is good quality time and Im showing them they are number one to me and that I love them and respect them they dont need to have me 24/7 365. I know lots of parents though who choose to let their kids come home from daycare or school or wherever and they are left to their own devices while mom (or dad) do nothing with their children, and those are probably the children who grow up with more issues. Just my opinion though.
    sajamomma

    Answer by sajamomma at 9:16 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I do want to say first of all that all families are different and have different needs...... I do agree that parenting your own child is very important. This was a major arguement after we had children. Their father did not understand my theory. i always told him that I am not going to pay someone else to raise my children so we could have a little extra money after paying the overpriced daycare fees for two small children. When my oldest was 4 Months old I started my own home daycare, with flexible rates to help out low income families who had no choice but to work. I also intergrated family oriented projects, and had them make gifts for their parents on mothers day, fathers day and birthdays. I feel that family is so important, and that it is so sad that the world has become to busy with life. My kids did go to preschool and were socialized due to my daycare. They both do great in school, and love our family time:)
    muzikgrl477

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 9:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I think it's very important to stay home with your children and I feel very sorry for women who can't or won't. I insist on being my children's primary influence and to do that I need to be the one who spends the most time with them. I don't want them growing up like my cousin's kid who was put in day care and then early public school programs. He doesn't listen to his mom at all, but she doesn't care, she thinks of school as free babysitting. I want to spend all the time I can with my kids because one day they won't be kids anymore.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 9:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Both my boys were in daycare when they were 6 weeks old because I had to work. By the time my girls came along I stayed home with them because I couldn't find a daycare that I was hapy with. They are all in school full time now so I have gone back to work. To say a mother is selfish because her kids go to daycare is wrong and not all kids that do go are bad.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • We work opposite shifts. We sacrifice seeing each other more so that our son is raised by us and we can live comfortably and at least financially stress free.

    thisloveofmine

    Answer by thisloveofmine at 11:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Your marriage should be important too.
    My son attends preschool 2 days a week for the socialization. I am a SAHM but also believe moms need sometimes to theirselves and spouses. I believe in raising your own children and my husband feels that way as well. WE raise our son together. I think you can be a great mom even if you are a working mom. I agree a lot with what Sajamomma said.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 11:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I have no choice but 2 work but her daddy keeps her while I work during the day( he works nights), she listens to and respects me when im home though and I do the same for her. My cousin didn't do anthing 2 raise her child he doesn't listen to her and doesn't call her mom, he calls his grandma mom because that's who takes care of him, its sad :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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