Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need your advice and opinions! My sister asked me to be a surrogate for her.

I love my sister dearly! She has one daughter who is 4 years old and wants to have another baby desperately. She has taken several rounds of clomid and has done IVF twice with no success. She and her husband also applied to adopt a few years ago with no luck yet there either. They are still waiting and hoping. She called me today and asked if I would be willing to be a surrogate for her. I have had two healthy pregnancies and would be able to do it again. I would do it in a heartbeat for her... but it is her husband that causes problems. He is very controlling and IMO abusive. He isn't violently abusive, but I think he takes it too far w/ physical discipline. He also treats their daughter like a dog. He whistles at her to come to him and sends her to "lay down" when she "acts out". "Acting out" to him would be when she doesn't finish an entire apple or puts her shoes on the wrong feet! She is four years old!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (4)
  • My entire family does not like him. We all wish that my sister would have married someone else. He is very controlling of my sister and, I think, shows all the signs of a future abuser. I don't want to bring a child into this world knowing that he would be the father, and raise the precious baby. I also fear that he would be so much more harsh on a boy, if the baby was a boy. I don't know what to do. I love my sister and think she is a wonderful mother, short of who she choose to be her children's father.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • you really have to have a heart to heart with your sister. she seems like a really great women and so don't you. it seems like you would do it if she had a better person to parent with. keep us updated onthis if you want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Maybe this is why God isn't allowing her to conceive...he see's our future and knows everything before it happens. Don't try to help him in this matter if one child is being treated badly don't allow another. Maybe she can get help or counceling at a near by church or even both of you go to help each other. I have a sister and love her dearly also but if I seen her children being abused in anyway..and I know you said not physical..verbal is enough..I would not help her try for more children unless she left the wise guy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I wouldn't do it, tell her the truth, maybe she will leave, if she wants another child so bad.
    clovismommy25

    Answer by clovismommy25 at 11:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.