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19 years, what should I do?

I've been with my husband for 19 years, married 13. We have a son who will be 16 this year. My husband drinks way to much and never spends any time with us at all. He is always at work drinking with the guys after work or at our home in the garage either by himself or with his friends drinking and mingling around. Then to top it all off he is always on his laptop! I feel like I have no one anymore and am getting very lonely. I've tried talking to him about it but he really acts as if everything is fine with us. I feel myself drifting away from him but I really do love him so much. What should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Talk calmly with him. No name calling, no accusations, and word things from your point of view so that he doesn't tune you out. "It makes me feel lonely that you spend all your time when you are home on your laptop." "It makes me feel insecure when you drink so much." Like that. Tell him that you feel he should join AA and ask him to attend marriage counseling with you. If he refuses, go on your own. Al-anon is a good place, I hear, for people in families with alcoholics. Meanwhile you should prepare yourself for the possibility that you might be on your own. Make sure you have money saved in an account of your own, and if you don't have a job, be working on getting job training.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Aww hon.

    Really communication is the best medicine.
    Your deserve happiness.

    Sit him down and lay down the law.
    Marriage counseling?

    If he doesn't respond positively let him know that
    if he doesn't fix or make an attempt to fix the problem
    you will LEAVE.

    Again, your happiness is much deserved.

    Answer by kylesboo at 8:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Easier said than done hon.

    Answer by kylesboo at 8:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • i agree with kylesboo, lay down the law..a relationship needs work from both people in it if he's not willing to try to make things right then you need to decide if your willing to put up with his behaviour or if you would be happier without him

    Answer by dee778 at 5:29 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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