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I have a question that I will never know the anser to. How does your husband wake up one day after 18 years and say I dont love you anymore? I'm not in love with you and have no feelings for you. If anyone can anser that I'm all ears

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susan04031993

Asked by susan04031993 at 8:40 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Wow.

    *jaw drops *


    :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • im married to my husband and im not in love with him anymore it happens yes i loved him but people do grow out of love i know i did
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • shruggingFirst let me say I am very sorry you have to go through this.  I am struggling as well with a relationship of 19 years.  I think your husband has had something going on for a while in order for him to say that to you.  Being together that long he has to have some sort of a feeling for you still to this date.  He may not be in love with you but there is a reason why.   I am drifting from my hubby and the reason for that is he drinks way to much.  ...I don't believe you can just wake up and say that with no reason at all.  Be brave!  Keep friends and family around and if you go to church keep active in that!  God will always be there with you and he is a wonderful companion especially in times like these!  I will pray for you!


     

    Traci1993

    Answer by Traci1993 at 8:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • That sucks. I'm so sorry. I had a nightmare that this exact thing happened and it took me a few days to recover. That was just a dream. I can't imagine how you are feeling, I hope things get better.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:53 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • that can happen i love my husband beacuse he is the father of my kids and we been together so long ( 11 yrs ) but i'm not in love with him, sex with him is not important to me at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I'm sorry to say, but I doubt that he just woke up one day after so many years and it just happened. I more thing he's been changing over a longer period and was just finally ready to tell you. Sorry and good luck.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Oh man....how absolutely shocking and horrid. I think that it does not happen overnight. I just watched the movie Fire Proof, and I would recommend it. Maybe the Love Dare is a book that could be valuable to you.

    MamaDiane

    Answer by MamaDiane at 10:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Sorry that is happening to you. I agree it is not all of a sudden. The feelings have been building in him for a long time now. Maybe you can work on your relationship with him if he is willing. Talk about his feelings. LISTEN to him and what he has to say. Maybe you can re-spark what drew you to each other in the first place. I have had these fellings too. Try counseling? Hope for the best for you. Hang in there.
    Allie428

    Answer by Allie428 at 11:35 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I don't think it just happened overnight either. These things brew over time, it just takes a long time to actually say it. Sometimes even without showing signs, a person can be MISERABLE but they can hide it well. I know I was. I left an 18 yr. marriage. Of course mine was alot different cause it involved abuse but I had been unhappy for many, many years and I hid it from everyone for a very long time. I played the we're okay and I'm happy for way, way too long. Then one day you just say to yourself....I can't live like this anymore and life is too short to be this unhappy. And you just do it...you leave and never look back. I left because I chose to not take another beating. Your dh may have been living a lie for a very long time and just now got up the nerve to tell you. I know it must be very hard being on the receiving end....I'm sorry and wish you the best.
    foofoomommy

    Answer by foofoomommy at 2:50 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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