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Should i continue counsling or should i just give it up already?

MY 14 YR OLD AND HAVE BEEN GOING TO COUNSLING FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS NOW. SHE STILL DIRESPECTS ME AND TREATS ME LIKE CRAP. SHOULD I CONTINUE GOING OR CALL IT QUITS ALREADY? HER FATHER TELLS HER SHE 'DOES NOT HAVE TO RESPECT ME, I NEED TO EARN HER RESPECT'.

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mom61175

Asked by mom61175 at 9:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I agree with you, maybe try a different counseler.
    jamesmommy12

    Answer by jamesmommy12 at 9:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Speaking as a former 'out of control teen' (that's how my parents felt anyway) I was forced to go to counseling for many years and honestly it did nothing. (My dad was very emotionally abusive to me and then would cry to my mom about it, turns out he had a medical 'imbalance' that caused this but I always got the blame) Anyway when I would go I'd sit and stare at the counselor the entire time bc my dad was there too and cut me off everytime I talked. I wasn't open to it so it didn't work. If you are going with her I'd suggest going in at seperate times. She may open up more without you there. And maybe even rotate visits. Like one week you go then next week is her turn. She would prob be more willing if she thought "ok now i can bash her" but even then the counselor will help bc (s)he can respond to your daughters attitude. I wouldn't give up. Keep trying. And I'm sorry but you are her mother you don't have to 'earn' anything
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:32 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Sounds as though her father needs to be in counseling also. That's terrible that he would tell her that. He is really undermining your authority with her. Have you mentioned this to the counselor? Change counselors if needed, but don't give up on it. Best Wishes.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I got cut off by the word counter... My parents didn't give up and they tried different things til they got it right. Once they found out my dad had his medical problem they were more willing to listen to me and saw I wasn't as out of control as they made themselves to believe. It still took a couple YEARS to work everything out but it was so worth it. I couldn't stand to even look at my dad and now I don't know what I'd do without him. Both my parents are huge role models in my life now and I lean on them for a lot of what life throws at me. The relationship between you and your daughter is never one to give up on. No matter how hard the battle it's worth giving every last breath for. I wish you the best of luck.
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 9:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Sounds like dad needs in on the counseling too. He should not be telling your daughter that she doesn't have to respect you. You have to earn it? BS!!! SHE is the one that has to earn the respect. Try a new counselor, one that takes time with her alone and then meets with you for a few minutes after the session and that requires occasional family counseling. As for your daughter, if she doesn't respect you stop doing things for her. She will have to do her own laundry, cook her own food and clean up after herself, clean her own room, etc. Tell her that when she respects you then you will help her out again. I would do the same with dear old dad. He is teaching her to disrespect her mother and that is plain wrong.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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