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immigration/custody related question...maybe offensive for some? :/

Alright, so my boyfriend (father of my baby that's due in oct.) is from El Salvador and let's just say he doesn't exactly have all the correct paperwork.

We have been fighting and yesterday he said the following:

1.) "I bet the f'ing baby isn't even mine. You probably f*cked some mexican while I was in jail." Which is rude because he is the only person I have EVER been with and I would NEVER cheat AND while he was in jail I was at his house with his parents comforting them and contacting lawyers.

2.) "If you leave me I will take that baby from you, I will get a lawyer and say you are unfit (even tho I am not in any way) and you will never see the baby again. I'll take it back to my country." Scared me to death.

Needless to say, I'm worried. He's currently in the big "D" process...can anyone tell me if he really can have my rights taken away? Of course he is the father..but would he really have rights in the US court?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (8)
  • Well, first let me say, you should have thought this all thru before making a baby in the first place. Yes, he does have rights. He is the father. Just because he is illegal does take away his rights as a father. Now, because you have chosen to put yourself in this situation.. Yes, you should be scared. He can in fact have visitation and yes, you have a risk of him running off with the baby. But, you must now get an attorney and try to prevent him from doing so. Will it be easy, HELL No. If they find out he is illegal and take him out of the country, you still have a baby together. You cannot change that fact. He can even tell someone else to kidnap the baby.. Sorry you put yourself and now an innocent child in that situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • It would be international kidnapping because the child would be an American citizen, would it help you get your baby back? I don't know
    He sounds like an ass and a looser, Why not high-tail instead of giving him the chance to kidnap the baby?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Anon 9:46 - no need to be rude, I don't think they meant to get in that situation. it probably was something that just happened. maybe they were in love at once and then something changed in him? jeeze, people come here for positive answers, not bitchy comments from people that don't really know what they are talking about. and no he does not have rights, if an illegal alien cannot obtain a driver's license, get a job under their own paper work or anything of that sort then how the hell is a court going to rule in his favor??? call immigration if you really start having trouble.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • First of all, you cannot help the choices that have already been made. You are pregnant, and need to look forward... every child is a blessing and do not be ashamed, just learn from this experience, and correct it next time!!! You are the mother. It is very hard to prove mothers unfit, unless they are. Do you do drugs? Do you have a record, and can you support this baby, alone, or with your own family members?? If so you should be okay. He obviously has legal issues and you are well within your rights to have supervised visitation, as you believe he may be a flight risk. Also if he is here illegally, he might not be as willing to set up visiation. You are not married. so if you do not file for support on this child, he is not intitled to visitation without paternity being set, which he would have to start that process. I would talk with family and ask what they think is right. Good luck!!

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 9:58 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Good for you ANON 9.51, I wish more people were postive here

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 10:00 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I agree with 2nd post. I would leave and take the baby before it is even born not to give him the chandce to take it. It would be illegal for him to do so, but try getting anyone to do anything about it if he skips the country with a new born, I doubt you would get any real help. Leave now, and as soon as the baby is born make all the arangements to make sure you have sole custody and have him stripped of any right to have the kid out of the country.

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Actually the baby was born here and is a US citizen and would not be handed over to an immigrant easily expecially if he has a crime issue. I doubt seriously you have any worries, but just to play it safe I would talk to an attorney. If you need any help, some one to talk to, or help finding the right attorneys let me know I'm really good at that stuff. Just PM me. Good luck and relax it'll be alright

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 10:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Oh also to let you know you can slow down any posible attept at him taking the baby by simply not listing a father on the birth certificate just say unknown. Simple as pie and if he still tries it by's you about 4-6 months time to prepare.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 10:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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