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Was I wrong to ignore my ex-bestfriend?

DH, his son and I went to breakfast in town. Over coffee we discuss our plans for the day, what else to pack and clean up from my house to get it ready to list and in the door walks my ex-bestfriend, her DH and their 2 kids.

She and I were as close as anyone 4 years ago. I was married to a different man then and learned just prior to our 1 year anniversary that this "friend" had made herself at home with my husband because "God told her to console him". He and I were having problems and I confided in my friend for advice. She took my information and had quite a busy afternoon with my husband. He told me what happened and when I went to confront her, she hid from me for days. She finally decided to come out of hiding and text me, telling me God wanted her to go see him and how as a Christian I should forgive her. I just can't seem to do it. I divorced him after that.

I see her now and I envision the two of them together.


Asked by lilbit022009 at 10:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Simple. Inform her that God has told you to put your sacred foot up her ass. Then do God's bidding. Twice.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:28 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Oh you were not wrong to ignore her. And, the beautiful thing is I am sure she felt much more uncomfortable than you did at the run in! Hope you find peace and happiness with your new family!

    Answer by MamaDiane at 10:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • First, I think she's full of crap. I believe in God, but I still think that's a bunch of pathetic lies. Do you honestly think that God condones a woman going to 'comfort' a married man when she knows the man and his wife are having problems? No! Not at all! The bible clearly gives a big hint on those things. A woman who tries to do that is usually doing it for her own selfishness, maybe to feel wanted, to weasel her way in when she knows things are getting rough. God did NOT tell her to do that, if he did nothing bad would have happened, now would it? No. If she felt led by God to do something, I can guarantee that it would have a GOOD outcome. Don't give her the time of day..She's a liar, and not worth it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • ignoring her was probably the right thing to do, you don't need the drama in your life.

    Answer by Amelora at 10:53 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • You should forgive her in your heart. But that is my personal opinion. But just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to lay down again and get walked on some more. You have obviously made it thru life without her thus far so that is probably for the best. Ignoring her was not wrong. Cuz she has proven by her actions to be someone to guard your family against

    Answer by tcrock02 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • You were absolutely right to ignore her! She knew what she did was wrong, otherwise she wouldn't have hidden from you. Plus, she's using your "christian" background to emotionally manipulate you in trying to justify her horrid actions. The Bible clearly states "What agreement hath God with whoremongers?" So, you were completely right to ignore her, because you don't want or need that drama and stress in your life.

    Answer by mommydearest236 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • She'd have been lucky if I ignored her. I'm curious, was she married to this man she's married to now while she was doing this "comforting" with your husband? She may have thought it was God telling her to comfort, but it was clearly the devil in disguise and I'm guessing she knew that.
    And she would be my ex friend too after helping herself to my husband, not that he's blameless.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2009


    Answer by Allie428 at 11:08 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I agree. If she felt led by God to do so, then sin would not have happened. There's no way what she is saying is the truth. Why would God tell someone to comfort another man alone, especially if they end up sinning together? I don't think so honey. If God leads you to do something, it will bear GOOD FRUIT. It will be blessed and prosperous. I do think it's right to forgive in your heart, but she has sinned against you, she broke one of the 10 commandments, and you certainly do not need her in your life at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Forgive her and the ex and move on with your life and do not look back.

    Answer by tyme4me2day at 11:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2009