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Know of anyone who had counseling with an abusive husband (separated)?

I agreed to go to counseling and drop the divorce proceedings. Mostly because I could not deal with the custody battle. But I really wish we could have a few sesions and get some crap straightened out. Also looking for some closure between my H and my son (his step son) whom he has also hurt. Has anyone heard of a man actually stepping up and making amends, even though the marriage is finshed? Yeah, I know wishful thinking. I need to just move on.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • He will not change, why should he? He has gotten away with hurting you and your children, and he still has all the control by making you call off the divorce. Screw counseling, get yourself divorced. If he has hurt your child do you really want anthing between them, closure of otherwise? Find yourself a battered women's group to talk to and seek counseling for your child. Take back the power! I have been there. It can change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Counseling is not a 'quick fix'....it takes time, dedication, work...really hard work and $$$$.

    He will need to get couseling for the abuse! He may not continue to abuse anyone at any time if he wishes for his marriage to be a success.

    You need to draw a boundry 'NO ABUSE'...stick with it, and most importantly....give him a consequence...IF HE IS ABUSIVE....HE MUST LEAVE!
    Many abusive men say and do all of the 'right things' just until the threat of divorce has passed!
    You must not allow this to happen! No one should ever be abused...

    If he is SERIOUS...DEAD SERIOUS...THAN...

    Find a GOOD COUSELOR! Be sure to check references and feel comfortable with your selection. You may need to screen several before finding the right person! Be patient! ..it is worth every minute that you put into a search.

    If you BOTH are willing to do all of these things....IT CAN WORK!
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 12:48 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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