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Greiving my best friends, practically sister's, death

I need help here, my husband doesn't understand the pain I am going through, and I can't let my 28month old daughter see me in this pain. My very best friend from the age of 12, died when we were both 20, it has been 9month since her death. She died very suddenly, with no cause, no rhyme or reason. Ever since I have been struggling to deal with I have no idea who to talk to with out her, since she would've been the one I turned to in this situation. I visit her grave every month, and when she died it felt like someone punching through a piece of wood, a big hole with sharp bits, but I thought, even though the hole would always be there, the pain would get easier to deal with. As it turns out, its more like someone has taken sandpaper to the hole, making the edges dull bit the hole impossibly bigger. I just feel so empty, hollow inside, I don't know how to deal. I need some advice on what to do, being lost this long...

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Asked by vintageGlamurrr at 1:51 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Is there someone at home, like a family member or another friend who you can talk to? Some people don't know how to react when another person is grieving the loss of someone. Did your husband know her? I'm really sorry to hear that your friend died. It really hurts, grief, as I went through it, but eventually that nasty painful hole gently closes. Saying that I still cry even years later. You lost your friend. Healing will come for you soon.

    Answer by DaffodilFae at 2:01 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • im sorry


    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 2:13 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • im so sorry honey :[ i know there are support groups for people grieving losses maybe look into one?

    Answer by aliciatron at 2:17 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • When we were sophomores in HS, she joined an exchange program in Europe and chose not to return to the states, though we still remained extremely close, my husband, who I met my senior year, did not get to know her the way I did. Though my Mom considered her another daughter, it's stil far too painful for either of us to bring her up. I am starting to think, since some of the sudden depression that came up a few days ago related to came up a few days ago when my husband unintentionally brought up something that brought guilt related to her death. She died in June, and the last time I saw her in person was in April(since she lived in Europe I only saw her every 3months) but it was when my daughter was in the hospital awaiting surgery. She visited me, but while she was there, the nurse was telling me about my daughter's post-op care and I wasn't able to visit with her much. I never got over how little I saw her that last visit

    Answer by vintageGlamurrr at 2:30 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Im sorry to hear what youre going through. Sometimes it helps to see a therapist or a counselor just to talk out what youre going through. Being able to have someone to focus on your personal issue and can offer ways of coping can help alot in dealing with the issue. You will need to address your own concerns to be strong for your child. Dont continue to hold it in and build up. None of this your fault, you couldnt control that you were not able to visit with her as much. You had a family emergency to take care of and Im sure she understood that. I would seek counseling and join a support group to learn how to better deal with coping.

    Answer by VaDivaMom at 5:57 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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