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10 year old won't sleep in his own bed

ok, Before I get anyone saying crap about my son not sleeping in his own bed at age 10, lemme explain....

I divorced ex when my son was 3 months old. I could only afford a one bedroom apartment at the time so my son shared his room with me(or I shared my room with him however you want to put it....). Then we moved closer to my work and I was still only able to afford a one bedroom house. But the bedroom in the house was only big enough to hold my bed so he slept with me.

At age 3.5 my ex comes back into the picture and we get a 2 bedroom apartment, my son is sleeping in his own bedroom no problems. Low and behold I get this phone call at work at 5 am(I left at 3 am with his dad there). Aparently d!ckhead left to goto the laundrymatt (Yes, he knew our son was there, but he was

 
Starfire73

Asked by Starfire73 at 7:09 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (30 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Tough love to means that even though you dont want to do something because it makes you feel gulity, you do it anyways.... Tough love is actually more hard on the parent then it is on the child... Therefore that is why its call that, its tough for you, but your doing what needs to be done out of love for your child. You do not have to be a tyrant to have tough love.... If you must sit him down and tell him that from now on he will sleep through the night in his own bed and each night that he does not you will take something from him... it could be the t.v in his room, his toys, going over to a friends etc... He eventually realize that momma's not going to be played anymore.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:39 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • n the coffee table. Thank God my son didn't get a hold of them. From my understanding, my son was walking around the apartment looking for us. Of course I made ex move out. And still to this day, my son won't sleep in his own room. I've bribed him, begged him, yelled at him, everything I can think of and no avail.
    NOW he claims if I put a "DVR" like the one we have in the living room, he'll sleep in his own bed. I'm at my wits end here. Any advice?
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:12 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • You are letting your son call the shots and he is VERY well aware of it. Tell him to stay in his own room or you will take away everything he has. It is well past the time when you should have put an end to him sleeping in your room. The DVR is foolish.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 7:15 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Ya, I know, he has a tendancy to lay on the guilt sometimes and I admit it, I'm a pushover, but I still feel guilt from what happened when he was 3.5. I mean he starts out in his room just fine, but every morning at 3:00 am or so, he crawls in my bed and pulls the "I had a bad dream" line. I don't know if he actually DID have a bad dream or if it's just an excuse. It's just the two of us and I don't want to hurt our relationship, but this is driving me nuts. I mean he does fine at summer camp. He went for one week last year and this year he goes for 2 weeks(not til july). My ex SIL's girls still sleep with her and her oldest is 11. From my understanding all of the kids in my ex's family did this. I'm really worried about this, and yes, we've been to counseling and all that other garbage. They just liked sitting around telling me what a bad mother I was(Other than this, my son is a great kid! VERY polite and helpful, manners,
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:21 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I've even put a tv in his room, I've bought numerous new beds for him thinking well, if he has a new bed, maybe..... Even fancy night lights, numerous bedding items, new pillows(No, he's not like spoiled is he?). I've made his bedroom as appealing as possible(aesthetically pleasing). I even read to him at night.
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:25 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Well, he is IMO playing you on your guilt... Momma you have got to stop feeling guilty and law down the lay..... what happend back then really was not your fault, you trusted your ex with you son and he broke that trust with you and your son.... This has got to stop somewhere, or he will get or may already have an unhealthy attachment to you.... Tough love momma, Tough love.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:26 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • thats should be lay down the law, not law down the lay! lol!
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:31 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Tough love got it... OK, How do I "do tough love" without coming across as a total tyrant. I was beaten by my father and I am sooooooooooo afraid of turning into that, I think I ended up being a marshmallow here. I mean he does get into trouble once in a blue moon(report card time usually he gets grounded, one week NO CARTOONS.)
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:32 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Thank you
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:45 AM on Mar. 30, 2009