Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My sister-in-law has a 3 yr old girl. She doesn't put her to bed until midnight, and then the child sleeps until 9:30 am! She claims it helps her get her housework done, in the morning before the child gets up - I say it's child abuse (almost!), because the child seems sleepy all day! any comments?

Does anyone else do this?

Answer Question

Asked by TammiMoore at 9:03 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (156)
  • I don't force my child to stay awake until midnight. If I'm up and he's still awake than that's cool. In the mornings he wakes up whenever he wants. I think 9 hours of sleep is adequate enough I would suppose. Now if your sil is forcing her child to stay awake than that's pushing the limit there.

    Answer by diamondmamma at 9:09 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • My child (oldest) didn't really have a bedtime until she was about 1 year that was only because hubby worked until 10:30pm and he left the house at 7:30am he worked 2 jobs at the time. So he never seen her or me so we waited until he got off work at 10:30 to go to the store and things. But he has one job now 8-5 so she have had a bedtime since probably 18 months and my youngest has always had a bedtime. They go to bed at 8pm and my oldest will sleep until 8:30 or 9 if her sister doesn't wake her then my 15 month old wakes up at 6:30 or 7 once in a great while she will sleep until 8

    Answer by mommy5409 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • A child just like anyone else needs their rest. So I wouldn't consider it child abuse, but if it continues she will be hurting herr child's learning.

    Every brain needs downtime, even grownup brains, and sleep is that downtime. If the brain gets sufficient rest like sleeping for eight hours, it gets its rest and can function much better.

    My oldest sister has a daughter that is eight and repeating the 1st grade. She has never laid down any rules for her, or set up any kind of schedule. My neice is allowed to stay up as late as she wants any day of the week with no consequences. She is suffering in school, and has behaviour problems.

    My mom is left babysitting her at night while my sister is at work and if my sister does not make her dinner before she leaves my mom fills her up with junk food. Structure and rules are so important, you should stress that to your friend.

    Answer by violaswamp at 9:11 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • My ex-SIL used to MAKE her kids stay up until 11 or midnight because she wanted them to sleep in so she didn't have to get up early in the morning.

    They'd wake up about 9 and she'd stay in bed until 10 or so.

    THAT is selfish.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:16 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • When I worked, my son stayed up til somewhere between 11 and midnight. He would sleep til about 8 in the morning, we'd have breakfast together then I'd take him to my mom's where he would go back to sleep for a few more hours. He didn't have any problems with it, it was normal for him.... But I think for a three year old, it would be important to start implementing an earlier bedtime just because of school coming up. It takes a lot of work to change a childs sleep patterns. But as long as the child is getting her needed sleep.. it might be a little irresponsible to not have a bed time, but it certainly isn't abuse.

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 9:17 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • As long as the child is getting required amount of sleep it's fine. A little weird, but fine. She'll have issue when the child starts school though unless she changes things noe.

    Answer by Madge1428 at 9:22 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That is absolutely NOT child abuse. That is her way of life. Maybe the toddler just needs a nap sometime during the day like most other toddlers?

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:27 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • as long as the child is getting her sleep I shouldn;t matter I have a friend who worked 2nd shift and her kids all stayed up later so she could give them their last bottle and then bed when she got home and it helped her sleep in alittle I wouldn't do it but I am a morning person so I don't mind getting up at the crack of dawn

    Answer by aidensmom570 at 9:32 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • really doesn't sound like child abuse at all to me, some people have odd schedules... I think 12-9ish is adequate sleep, but I'm sure a nap would help. I think any toddler that sleeps 9 hours needs a nap, mine sleeps 12 overnight and still takes a half hour to hour nap...

    Answer by willswifey at 9:33 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • When we travel to another time zone, we adjust our sleep patterns to go along with that time zone. So if I am in a time zone, say, 4 hours away, then I have to get to sleep earlier to match what is customary in that area. What I am trying to say, and not very well I know, is that her child is sleeping in a different time zone, and since the child has no obligations in the actual time zone, that the different time zone is perfectly fine as long as she is getting enough sleep, and there is no reason that she wouldn't be. If she goes to bed at midnight and sleeps until 9:30, she is getting as much sleep as if she went to bed at 9 and gets up at 6:30. That her sleeping hours have shifted doesn't matter since that is her habit. She'll need to shift back to the time of her area before she starts school so she'll be used to the time that everyone else in her area is on.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:35 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.