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Was it a scam?

I had been in contact with an expectant mom who was looking for possible adoptive parents in one of the groups here on Cafemom, name is Rylee. I haven't heard from her, her profile is gone and I read a post that suggested it might be a scam. Does anyone know any more on this? If it's true, I really wonder how people can treat others this way.....

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (12)
  • According to the adoptionscams group on yahoo, turns out that "Rylee" is a known emotional scammer from the Sacramento area named Tammy Moncus. She completely fits the M.O.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • People scam for various reasons. Emotional scammers enjoy the attention they are given by potential adoptive parents. Financial scammers are in it for the money. Usually financial scammers won't work with adoption professionals although some will. They also want you to send $$ via wire and not through adoption professionals (big mistake).
    If you are trying to find an expectant mother on your own, you need to research about scams.

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 9:30 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I persoanally would not use the internet as a way to be in contact with an expectant mother. The potential for someone to not be completely honest is too high. Not just the expectant parents but also the perspective birth parents might not be so truthful. Using ethical resources to ensure my best interest as an expectant parent and also to ensure that the expectant parents' rights have not been violated. That is a hard thing to do even when you are dealing with in person contact. Even more difficult over the computer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I agree with Anon 9:03 that the internet is a risky way to meet a woman who is contemplating placing her baby for adoption. We felt safer using an agency - we used Catholic Charities both times. Sometimes women do change their minds after the placement, but the social workers really work with women before the birth to encourage them to look at their options and make sure they're making the decision they want to make. Good luck!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:32 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • In some states you aren't able to use an agency and you must do your own networking- in this day and age the internet becomes one of few options available to people. And I think it's interesting how the focus of the answers has shifted to the fact that the OP is wrong for using the internet to find a birthmom, when the real issue is the evil thing that this person and other scammers do, don't you think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • anon: 10:42- What state can't you use an agency?


    Answer by luckyshamrock at 11:50 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Not a single post was negative to the OP. Only pointing out that both sides have the potential to be harmed. Illigal to use an agency? In what state? I have never heard of that. Is it illegal to go through social services in certain states too? And lawyers? Come on, give me a break. The risk to using the internet is very high. If you get burned then what the hell do you expect? No offense, but smart and using the internet to find a baby are not in the same catagory.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Why can people treat others this way? Why do any criminats do what they do? It's an excellent question and I think the answer is the economy that we live in. There are women who know that Potential Parents will pay big bucks and that it is really hard to prove fraud. A woman can have no intention at all to place the baby, can accept the money and then simply change her mind at the last minute, you cant prove she was fraudent. It is a crime just like any other, and women like this make the honest Bmoms out there look bad and punishes them.

    One of the many things that needs to be changed in adoption is a structure that protects Aparents and Bparents emotionally and financially. I have heard that the scams have been growing every year which ultimately forces more and more Pot. AP's to agencies which feeds that whole money making machine, it is an endless cycel.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I'm still waiting to know what states you cannot use an agency. Seriously, inquriing minds want to know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • some states dont allow "intermediaries" or "facilatators" that is NOT the same as saying they dont allow agencies to operate. Maybe you misunderstood something along the line here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

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