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Is my daughter in law crazy ?

She has cut me out of my grand childs life and she has cut my son off from all of his friends and family. My grand daughter is almost 18 monthes old and I have never met her. My heart is broken. Please comment, I need some honest input.

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grammylynn911

Asked by grammylynn911 at 9:14 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (37)
  • Why has she cut you off?
    CarrienKansas

    Answer by CarrienKansas at 9:16 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Did you have some kind of argument or dispute?
    Madge1428

    Answer by Madge1428 at 9:19 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I think before anyone can answer whether she is crazy or not we need more information. Was there any family drama going on before the baby was born? Did the two of you get along before? It sounds to me like there is some unresolved issues that are not being presented. I think the first thing you need to do is try and talk to both of them. If they will not talk with you in person or over the phone than write a letter. Tell them that you miss them both and that you would really like to build a relationship with all of them, but whatever you do do not make accusations that will only make things worse.

    maddiemygirl

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 9:21 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • i would send her a nice letter just telling her how much you miss the family feeling and if there was anything that u could do to make things right ( hard to help when we dont know if there was a falling out or some sort of fight ) if so then u may need to be the bigger person and take the first step. or maybe find out about grandparents rights. my x mother in law did this with 2 other grand children ( she lost but due to her pill habbit and party house ) and she really could careless about my dd ( her reason.. we live to far away..2 hours guess the mail main on b days thinks the same thing ) but there are rights u just need to know who to talk to.good luck
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:26 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I have a SIL like this, that has cut my mother and me out of my brothers life. In my opinion, I would say...it's the mans fault (your son, my brother) that allow their wives to be so controlling. They need to be the ones to step up and tell their wives that it is not acceptable for them to treat their mother like this!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:27 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • YOu need to lay the blame equally in this. Your son is a grown adult. Im sure if he wanted you to see your grandchild you would have by now.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:34 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • We had a misunderstanding , words were said that were hurtful to all involved. I have written and called and emailed apologising for my words, begging to put this behind us. My son is as much at fault as he does not want to get involved. We were very close for thirty years. When my ex husband died two + years ago, they had only known one another for a short time. We welcomed her into our family. Then my son received an inheritance of over three hundred thousand dollars... she became pregnant, they got engaged. I was so happy for them. They are not young children. They decided to hold off on marriage so that the state could pay for her medical care and I opened my stupid mouth and said that that was a trashy thing to do and that they could afford the best care since my daughter in law has diabetes. I guess I should have kept my opinion to my self but... I appreciate your interest.
    grammylynn911

    Answer by grammylynn911 at 9:37 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Without more information, it is difficult to say. My SO has not allowed his Mother into my step Son's life either. She hasn't seen him since he was born. My SO has never explained to his Mother why he has made this choice & I really don't want to go into all of it here, but there are good reasons, and I cannot blame him at all. For my SO cutting his Mother out of his life was one of the healthiest choices he has made. His Mother often reaches out to me in emails & on myspace but, he has asked that I not try to explain to "why". I see the pain she is going through but, this is her fault. Was your relationship with your DD strained before the baby? I would ask her why, & listen very carefully to what her reasons are. I'm sorry this is happening, I hope something changes for you.

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 9:39 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That was a trashy thing to do. If thats the only reason than she is petty. Get an attorney and see if you can have grandparent rights. They very by state. Especially since they wont respond by emails or letters. Do you have other children?
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:40 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • You are all so kind to answer. I have tried all of your suggestions. I don't know what else to do. A young friend suggested that I join Cafe Moms and see what happens. By young I mean a Mom of four in her thirties. No one can understand why she is doing this .
    grammylynn911

    Answer by grammylynn911 at 9:43 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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