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dd age 11 made fun of at school shes losing friends and shes upset. what can i do?

my dd has a proublm she tends to still wet the bed at night (she wears pull ups ) taken her to millons of doctors have tried everything and they end up saying shes a deep sleeper and a small bladder she will grow out of it. (after all that its like thanks ) well 3 years ago dd went to a sleep over and this friend knew of her trouble and was ok. and dd did really well well now that friend transferd to dds school. and has told everyone about her trouble and made other friends turn there back on dd( you know how kids can be ) so dd is crying shes losing all her friends and there maken fun of her and calling her names like pee pee pants. she dosent want to tell on them for fear of being a tattletail. i feel for her and want to help but what do i do? my friend told her next time "friend" does this say i have a medical proublm whats your reason? oh wait theres no medical reason for being a jerk. how do i help?

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tabbys4

Asked by tabbys4 at 9:35 AM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 16 (2,696 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Be there to listen to her each and every time. That will build her confidence to come to you with any other questions/problems - a critical foundation to build NOW!
    I would tell my daughter the next time this happens, to either completely ignore it or laugh along with them, even if she doesn't want to. It will help her to be able to laugh at herself - a good thing to know how to do; and, it will take the punch out of the teasing from the bullies. If there isn't a negative reaction, they get bored and move on to something/someone else. Tell her to do it each time for the next several times and it will stop. Bullies thrive on causing others pain and hurt. If she convinces them it doesn't hurt her anymore, they will stop. GL and give that sweetie a big hug from me!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:42 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That's all about childhood honey. Just be there for her. Being 11 is hard nowadays and if she didn't have that problem kids will still find a way to be cruel to each other. Tell her next time them kids say something to her , tell her to pick up something an haul off and slap the sh#$ out of them...jk...but seriously they will grow out of it. Its all about growing up. Tell her to ignore them..{its gonna be hard} but thats all she can do. Now if it effects her to the point that she can't function, maybe transferring her to another school may do justice. IF it becomes that serious.
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 9:56 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Try getting a watch with a timer and set it so it wakes her up every two hours on one weekend to train her to get up and also talk with her privately and complimenting her on many parts of her life of what's right. Gently remind her how she knows to go to the bathroom during the day, what HER full bladder feels like, that she'll learn to be aware of it at night over time. I'd get her involved too in other activities that aren't so cliquish like girl scouts, library activities, 4H. Lots of activities for kids away from snobby schoolmates. Be sure to encourage her to use the bathroom in school so her nerves don't let loose while in class with nasty school kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Awh that's sad. Kids can be so cruel. As for what to do...I'm afraid there probably isn't much. Kids will be kids and make fun of other kids. Sometimes that's just how it goes. Eventually they'll stop picking on her and move on to some other poor kid. You can only be there for her and comfort her. Keep telling her what a great kid she is and that she doesn't need to worry about these other kids because they are all immature for making fun of her. You might also want to try and get her involved at a YMCA or other club where she can meet new friends who won't know about her problem. I used to wear fake hair to school and everyone made fun of me when I found out. I just ignored everyone and eventually quit wearing it. My mom was really there for me that whole time and she was my best friend! It was a hard time but I got through it and so will she!
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:26 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't tell her what to say. I got picked on a lottttt in school, but I really think it builds character. If you tell your daughter what to say, she is going to feel like its "lame" or whatever and feel like she can't fight for herself. Maybe explain to her that some children are immature and when they make fun of her, they are really the ones that look stupid. Tell her that its okay to be upset about it, but friends like that are not friends she wants anyway. I had one friend that stuck with me all through school and we got picked on a lot, but we are still best friends to this day. Just support your daughter, don't try to give her solutions, because you will never fix how mean some children are.
    twocutetwins09

    Answer by twocutetwins09 at 10:30 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Ask the dentist. I don't knwo the link but my one dentist asked about bed wetting and had a sign up about it. Maybe even google it. Also their are bed alarms to help them over come it if they are just a deep sleeper.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • my daughter also wears pull ups.she is almost 10.i am lucky cause another girl does also.but i feel your pain.girls are awful.you just have to tell her to be strong.i would tell her to ignore this girl.find out who it is on the hush hush.i bet she is the so call(queen bee) and the other girls are just following her.ya there is a girl at school that my daughter is good friends with.but her mother is coaching her.and like the mom two cute said this girl isnt going to know what to do when alone.i would be there for her always and let her know it.but a mom involved that isnt cool.and gets real sticky.i dont know what to do.i may call the mom and ask her why she wont let her daughter play with mine.or you could go to the school on the descret and talk to the nurse maybe or the teacher.see what this girl is like.i found out this girl plays with my daughter at school but as soon as they get home its all different.
    snowmom974

    Answer by snowmom974 at 2:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I would be at those girls' houses so fast you'd see skidmarks behind me. I'd talk to those girls and ask them how they'd feel if someone exposed one of their secrets and made fun.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Kids can be mean to each other.  I would LISTEN and empathsize with your daughter.  Then ask her what SHE thinks she should do about it?  If she is lost for an answer suggest some things (i.e. .this is what I would do) Then ask her what she thinks would work for her (each kid has a different comfort level).  There are some good books for her (Standing Up for Youself, Friends, Bullying) which might help her find a solution or different ideas to try!  There are also some good books on bedwetting.  Here is the link and click on the specific topic for each  http://www.cjkidz.com/parentsgrandparentsteachers.html   It is hard to see our kids hurt.....so give her the right tools to help her find solutions on her own and be there to LISTEN.   

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 8:47 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • i agree with twocutetwins an the advice she has giving.
    i was pick on as a kid an i believe it does build character.
    mom231child8

    Answer by mom231child8 at 12:04 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

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