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For those with adult children....

I'm 31 , married and pregnant with my second child. Both my husband and I work. My brother is 28 and just had his first child..we live in NY and our parents live in SC. They've been there for almost 6 years (my son is 6 years old). We both feel that they should consider moving back up north to take part in their grandchildren's lives. My mom was never a "maternal" woman and we don't have a close relationship with our dad...yes they are still together. But I think they both have grown (they were teenage parents) and will make a difference in their grandchildren's lives....unlike how they raised us.

Would you consider relocating to help your grown children with their kids?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (18)
  • Only if they chose to support me living in a more expensive area.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 12:13 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • My husband and I have our own lives, friends, interests, here. If our children wanted us to help with their children, they should move to this area.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:22 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Nope. Perhaps it is YOU who should move if being near them is what you want.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I would but it's not for everyone and I wouldn't fault someone for their choice. I'd hope we could visit them and they could visit us.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 3:23 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • No Idon't think grandparents should move to where the kids are ,especially if you know one is not very maternal because kids can pick up on these feelings and what if the child sensed this and it made him or her confused and didn't know what to think of it.It is probably best long distance grandparents then one that is right on top of you and having to explain away why grandma /pa make him fell like he/she feel like she doesn't care for them.try and explain that to a little one.
    Lady58

    Answer by Lady58 at 3:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • No because my kids would be grown. That means I raised my kids and it's their turn to raise theirs.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 6:18 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That really has to be their choice. You can tell them how much you wish they were closer so you kids could get to know them. That is all. But they are not obligated!!! It is too bad that they don't see it, but if they weren't there for you, chances are slim they will try to be there for your kids UNLESS you make the effort to show them-----do they let you visit? how are they when you visit? Do they come and visit you? Are they excited to see the kids? Those are clues to you. I have been blessed to have both sets of grandparents in the same town for my kids. However, only my parents have been really involved--camping, skiing, hunting, fishing, dinners:-) Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • OMG!!! I only wish I was in your shoes, Im trying to get away from my family not get closer to them. Mine and my husbands family live less then an 45 min.away from our home and we never see them cause we cant stand eachother. Husband and I thought it would be best to keep our son away from our family since all of the issues they have. I have drug abusers and alcholics in my family and my husbands dad chose not to have a realationship with him or his grandson any longer cause hes married to wicked witch of the west and his realy mom passes away a while ago. My husbands working really hard to get us away from all of them.Even though we never see them, I just dont like the fact that there this close to me.Even my grandma is evil, acts just like my mom or should I say my mom acts just like her. My husband and I get along so much better that we have nothing to do with them and we look forward to moving and calling somewere else hm.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I raised my son alone with no family to help me. I chose to live in Florida. My brother was in the Air Force and stationed in different areas around the world with his family. My parents lived in NC. The solution that we came up with worked for everyone.
    When the kids were on summer braek from school - they were between the ages of 6 to 15 - the years we did this - we would send them to my parents house for the summer. During the 6 to 8 weeks that my parents had the grandchildren, they all got to know one another. It solved the problem of what we were going to do with the kids during the summer - day care and camp was much more expensive than a plane ticket. It was just long enough that at the end of summer break they were all ready to take a break from each other.
    No, I would not relocate, but my grandchildren would be welcome for extended visits.
    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 5:48 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • IN A HEART BEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 4:31 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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