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What do I need to defend myself?

My x is now going for primary custody. I no longer have an attorney. My two children live with me and have since birth. We have been seperated for 3 1/2 years. He has played no role besdies taking them on weekends. Not involved in their school activities, grades, doct visits, etc. How do I prove myself and not let him win. Can he win and how?

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CassandraLD

Asked by CassandraLD at 12:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Just be truthful and calm, it is generally really hard for a father to take custody without proving a mother unfit, so if you have no CPS cases you should be fine.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 12:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I would document everything that has happened. And get statements from the school, teachers, any Dr;s or coaches for any sports that might be played, and any neighbors to say that he is not onvolved. Daont have them go to in detail, just that they have never seen himaround and that you are involved and in charge of everything and they have seen no neglect or abuse from your part. I have a friend trying to get her divorce ammended without an attorney and that is what the court clerk advised she did.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:45 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Oh, and have it all notorized
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 12:45 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • It's up to him to prove YOU unfit.

    Stay calm, don't go off on him no matter what is said, make sure you don't have any CPS cases, police reports or contempt charges against you.

    Be cordial to him at all times, don't speak ill of him in front of or to the kids, don't offer any information other than exactly what you are required to give at any time.

    Document, document, document everything he does, says, etc...to you, to the kids. Do NOT record the kids on anything, judges don't like that. Do NOT bring the kids into the "fight". It's between the two of you adults....keep it that way.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • You could ask around and see if a lawyer would take your case pro bono. It always looks good for someone to do charity work and if you can't afford a lawyer, that's certainly worth a shot. No guarantees though if anyone will. Best to see if you can find a friend or friend's friend that's a lawyer willing to help or at least offer advice.
    chicadejmu

    Answer by chicadejmu at 4:41 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Just be truthful and calm, it is generally really hard for a father to take custody without proving a mother unfit, so if you have no CPS cases you should be fine.

    I have to agree with this mama!

    Unless he's "loaded down" with wads of the $$$!! It's extremely hard for Dad to prove primary custodial BM unfit.
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 10:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Stay calm. Do get notarized affadavits from Drs. teacher etc. about your parenting skills and involvement and that they have not met dad/his non involvement.
    What has changed in 3.5 years that has him wanting custody? Look at that reason and then figure out how to disprove it.
    He's obviously not a totally uninvolved parent.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 4:47 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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