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Would you do the same?

Ok, my DH still talked with his ex fiance while we were dating. Well, he never told her about me or the fact I was pregnant. Well, she called one day and I told her everything.
Well, he and I had some problems but worked through them. WELL, last night she called the house and was asking me if I had the baby and what was it, blah blah blah.
She ask to talk to my DH, and I let her, but I was standing next to him, I heard her say "why are your answers so vague is she standing there" (he claims to hate her yet won't tell her to stop calling). He answered her question "yes" and she ask if she should call back, and he said "sure"...so I took the phone and politely told her he was now married and not to call back because we're having problems now and this is just adding fuel to the fire.
THAT stupid cu*t called and left him a voicemail on his cell...what would you all do?

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 1:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I would put my foot down! He is YOUR husband...he doesn't need to talk to her anyway not to mention the fact that they used to be engaged!! Stand your ground. Your husband probably wouldn't like it if you were have private conversations with an ex. If he won't listen I would put that other woman in her place
    luvsgriffin

    Answer by luvsgriffin at 1:08 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Stop it now, she wants him back and he might fall into it.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:08 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I don't know if I would blame the girl. I would blame your husband. He obviously is still making and keeping contact with her. You you need to sit down with him and he needs to be honest with you.
    twocutetwins09

    Answer by twocutetwins09 at 1:10 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I have two different suggestions: Talk calmly with your husband. No name calling, no yelling. Calmly tell him what is upsetting you about this. Word it from your point of view: (It makes me feel insecure when you..." "I feel that she is trying to get you back when she..." ) He needs to break it off. To move on. You came across as a bit of a shrew when you took the phone from him and said that. You made him lose face. You have now forced him to prove to himself that he isn't henpicked by doing what he may not have done otherwise- keep contacting her, only now he'll have to do it in secret, which can lead to even more problems. Apologize sincerely and admit to him that you did wrong and that you will try to do better in the future. Be the angel and say that you would like to get to know her. Be gracious, be sweet, don't give him a reason to feel pushed away.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:13 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • telling her about your problems may not have been the smartest idea- now she can has a door- she will think she can comfort and console him.

    sounds like he was making sure to keep that option open when you were engaged and he stil talked to her, but never mentioned you.

    I have no idea what to do. He needs to want to make this marriage work and he needs to want to change. you can't really make an adult do anything they do not really want without it backfiring.

    talk to him. ask if he wants your marriage to work or if he wants to have theEex hanging around as a back-door escape-- way out. if he wants the marriage to work tell he him he needs to put effort into it and show that is what he wants.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 1:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • You can't trully stop her from talking to him,,if he does not want to stop talking to her...You can tell him how you feel about it ...Changing the phone numbers will not work if he gives the numbers to her.. So I think it is all up to your DH. Talk to him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • This all is up to your husband. He has the power to get her out of your lives completley or he likes having her waiting in the wings, he can say he hates her but his actions arent really proving that. If it were me.... I would say change your number cell and home to unpublished. I would then tell my dh if he contacts her or talks to her and dosent make it clear he wants nothing to do with her or she ends up mysteriously getting his number again I would be done believe me this could go on for years if you allow it. Putting the other woman in her place and leaving your dh out of it wont work she probably looks at it like its a game. Or figures if he dosent tell her than why should she listen or respect you especially if he dosent.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:16 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • it's a problem that your DH can choose to fix, if he doens't chose to remedy the problem, then you have your answer
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:18 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • My husband knows better then that but I guess if something like that ever happend then I would take matters in my own hands and tell her not to call again and I would not be nice about it, this way she gets the point. As for husband, if he cant man up then hes gonna have to leave. Thats all there is to it. I married my husband because hes a man and a good one at that, not a little boy. First thought in my head would be that something is going on between them cause why else would he keep that you guys are having a baby togeather from her?
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:25 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • you have just described what was goin on with my bd & i.

    i found call histories and e-mails between my bd and his ex. & don't get me wrong... i have no problem with women talking to my bd. even if they're trying to flirt with him (Because i know he's mine and they can't have him). i have no problems with my bd having respectful female friends. but, when i found emails he started, saying things like " i miss your no panty wearing ass", my feelings were hurt. AND i was pregnant. HELL no. i confronted him about it as soon as i could.. after i got my thoughts together & calmed down a bit. i knew i gave him no reason for him to talk to this woman. we had been together for 3 years at the time. i told him all that i just told you, that i have no problem with him talking to other girls, but when it gets inappropriate it's time to stop or leave. if not, i WILL leave you. i know it'll be hard but i WILL raise this child on my own...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

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