Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dealing with Grandmas?

No offense to the moms of moms out there... but i just need a little clarity with how my mother has been acting. She's driving me nuts O_o.

I know my mom doesn't mean it (i think), but sometimes she is so critical of the things i do for my daughter, and she says things that can sometimes kind of offend me a little. Either I get frustrated and snap at her, or I just ignore her. I already knew my mother was overprotective and possibly OCD with cleanliness. But are there just some things Moms of moms can't help but do? Do you realize it at the time? Do you care?

Last night while giving my 10month old a bath.. she came in like *SURPRISE* then started telling me how to bathe her.. "Don't take too long she'll get a cold! Watch her head! She might slip! She's going to eat the Shampoo!" Then she tried squeezing behind me (i have a small, and just basically usurped me, & finished bathing her "for me".

Thanks... XD haha!

Answer Question

Asked by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 2:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,097 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • The thing that my mom does that pisses me off is correct me when I'm disciplining my son. That basically tells him he doesn't have to listen to me because he knows he can run to grandma. I've told her before, if you have a problem with my discipline, tell me in private. But she still does it! Or if she doesn't say anything she'll give me the cold shoulder if she doesn't like the way I handle the situation. Real mature huh? But I think that's just how some moms are, good intentions and I can imagine what I'm going to be like when I'm a grandma!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • i am a mom of a mom and noticed this of my daughters mil.i asked her about it and she said she knewhow she got me mad.this woman is type a daughter said that she knows everytime she goes over to there house she is going to maybe that is the way to go.just know that is the way she is.unless you want to say something to her???ya i dont like this woman bashing my daughter.but i am sure i say things to sometimes.but i dont critisize...

    Answer by snowmom974 at 2:45 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I used to just sit back and be pissed, and let my MIL do whatever even if it wasn't how I would do things.

    Finally one day when she was butting in, I told her "I've heard that before from a few other people, but I decided to do it this way." And continued on acting like she wasn't even there. Now, when she is at my house, she goes by how I want things done. It is after all, my child.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:45 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I would have said:

    "Um, excuse me mom, I really need to go to the bathroom" then shut the door and locked it! then I would have finished bathing her in peace and quiet, LOL!

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 2:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • If it were MY mom, I would've told her that the bathroom would be free in 15 minutes and that she'd then be free to bathe herself in whatever manner she chose. I'd even bring her a fresh towel.

    MY mother would get the hint. :)

    If it were my MIL, I'd go with Carolyn's response of, "Yes, I've read/heard that, but I've chosen to bathe baby this way."

    Answer by Avarah at 2:52 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • XD HAHA! well, i sorta did. I poured some water over my daughter to wash off excess bubbles, shut off the faucet, and announced that her bath was "...long enough! Time to go!"

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 2:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Wow I wish I could help, but my mom has never been like that, in fact even when wants to surprise me with something (like my daughter's crib) she calls to see if it's ok. I'm lucky I guess, my mom is happy to give advice but doesn't try to take over anything.

    Answer by heratyc at 2:55 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • As annoying as she can be, i still love my mom... and i want my daughter to pick up on that, you know?

    I guess I'm just not easily angered =\. My mom is though -____- *sigh*

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 2:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I think the best thing a person could take from this post is, all of you Mom's and MIL's out there... even friends, stand back and wait till you have a clear indication that your thoughts and opinions are wanted and that your help is being requested or needed or straight up ask, before pushing your way in there to take over the situation.
    There, now maybe somebody's MIL will understand what it is that she's doing wrong lol

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I have a mom like that do...alot of us do..
    As hard as it is just have to deal with it..
    Trust me I go off on my mom at times and then I feel horrible because what she is doing is
    because she loves the children...
    Thank God that we have moms and grandmoms out there that just love our children...

    Answer by Dannee at 2:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.