Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I had a miscarriage and now everyone around me is getting pregnant, is it normal to be reallly jealous?

I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and its been really hard for my husband and I. Two days after a freind found out she is pregnant after having an abortion last year, two days after that another friend found out she was pregnant after going on a drinking binge for 3 weeks and ending up having a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I feel bad, for feeling mad and jealous about it but these girls got rid of their babies and its not like they are anymore mature now than they were last year or two years ago.. My husband and I have been married for 3 years, we have a 2 year old, my husband has a great stable job and supports us and our lifestyle. Were great parents.. and I just dont understand why I couldnt keep my baby but they can.. they dont even want to be mothers! Im just angry, and I know I shouldnt be, but I hurt. I know god has a plan and it wasnt meant to be, but im still emotional. Am I the only one who has ever felt this way?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (8)
  • It is so normal to feel that way. Heck I'm done having kids and I still get a little jealous when I hear someone is expecting. I've had a couple miscarriages and it is very hard to be around people who are pregnant. It's a bad time for you now, you've just lost a baby you love and wanted, your hormones are out of whack. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 4:51 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • No... when I had a miscarriage I wouldn't talk to anyone for weeks. Then when a friend told me she was pregnant, I felt like she was slapping me in the face. My ex and I had been trying so hard to get pregnant and she wasn't even sure who knocked her up. I was really hurt by it.

    Answer by emmetsmom09 at 4:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • No. Just reading your post makes me sad for you and mad at them. I think trials are given to us for a reason and how we handle them makes us who we are. Focus on your 2yo and forget about your friends being pregnant. You're already a mom and sound like a good one at that. Stay strong!

    Answer by avpriddis at 4:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • It's normal. I wouldn't only get jealous, My thoughts would be plain rude. "Why does she get one I would have been such a better mom" Just remind yourself the things you already know (everything happens for a reason, when it's your time it WILL happen,) and try to listen to your logical side opposed to your emotional side as often as possible. This month makes three years since my misscariage, and I have a thirteen month old son now. Even though I 100% understand why something so terrible happened to me, I still have a hole in my heart. and instead of trying to ignore or cover it i try to deal with it. It's okay to be sad it's okay to cry. Not everyone realizes that it truly is a loss and we all will deal with it and mend in our own time. Take the time you need. Good luck with everything.

    Answer by MoMmY2APrince85 at 5:01 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Theres nothing wrong with you it is perfectly normal. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take your time, and do what helps you to cope. Good luck and I hope it gets better for you real soon. Unfortunately bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. You need to remember it's not YOUR fault. It's just a horible misfortune and it isn't fair. Lean on your husband and remember he is hurting to so be supportive of each other. I hope it all works out for you. Again I'm so sorry for your loss

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way when I was trying to concieve my first, she was born still at 20 weeks due to an abruption. I went to the dentist the other day and there daughter just found out she was pregnant and was acting so nasty to them, whoa is me sort of thing. I wanted to show her my memorial tatto and tell her she shouldn't act like that, and let her know how lucky she is. It sucks but what are you going to do about it.....nothing. All we can do is concentrate on our own life. I know a lot of the times it's hard to do when stuff like that seems to be shoved in your face.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Normal. When I had a miscarriage I wouldn't even look at children, and I wanted to punch pregnant teenagers who were smoking. And I'm normally laid back and bordering on being a pacifist.

    Answer by kara_g. at 9:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Yes. My mother in law was 6 months pregnant when I lost my second baby. I had a 3 month old at the time, but we were wanting another one really close to him. Everytime she would say anything about being pregnant, I would get so mad or sad or something. I thought to myself that it wasn't fair that this would be her 6th kid and I should be the one that still has the baby since she's 43 and already has 5. It hurt me so bad, but now, I try not to be that way and I actually watched my brother in law be born. It still hurts me when I want so bad to be pregnant and I'm not and I wonder why my baby had to die.

    Answer by tykesmommy at 4:07 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.