Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need help.. Eptopic pregnancy?

A very dear friend of mine in her late 30's is going through a horrible divorce, with a new man in her life.. Shes been trying to become pregnant for a few months.. Today she called me and told me that shes 9 weeks pregnant.. The pregnancy is in one of her ovaries (confirmed via an ultrasound) I offered my condolences and she shocked me by saying she refuses to see the doctor again is going to try to have this baby. Is it even possible? Im so scared shes going to die. What are the chances she can actually carry this baby to term? whats going to happen to her if she cant? Everytime i begin to try to talk about getting the normal treatment for an eptopic pregnancy she completely shuts down and says her boyfriend will take care of her and wont talk any further.. Im worried about her mental state at this point, i feel awful for saying that.. Is there any help i can give her? Any advice anyone can give me?

Answer Question

Asked by CG143 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I wish I knew exactly what to tell you. The first time I found I was pregnant I also found out I was miscarrying and more than likely it was because it was ectopic. The dr's told me that it is possible to have a baby ectopically but it iss very dangerous to the mother and they don't suggest it. Also if she does decide to try and keep this baby it will probably be a preemie because there is just no room for it to grow there. But honestly if I hadn't miscarried I would've carried it for as long as possible and then had a csection when either it or I became threatened, and then do all I could possibly do to keep them alive.
    It sounds like your friend is in a very emotional state right now. Rather than trying to talk her out of having this baby, she needs you as her friend to be there with support and love, especially if things don't work out like she wants.

    Answer by avpriddis at 5:34 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That is a very dangerous situation. Treatment is the only option. Once the baby starts to get bigger she will start bleeding and cramping and have some pretty violent symptoms and if the baby survives long enough he ovaries will rupture. you need to get some help for her, she needs treatment. No matter what she says, babies just can't be carried to full term that way. I'm so sorry to hear that! You should be firm with her but also be a friend and help her through, it's not gonna be easy, never is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • If the baby is in her tubes it will rupture and she can die from it. I had a eptopic pregnancy and caught it early like 5-6weeks. They never did see anything in the tubes up close b/c I was so early but got a shot and the shot is what gets rid of the baby. I just had some spotting and cramping and thats why I found out. I got pregnant about 1yr later and got an ultrasound early like 5-6 weeks to make sure the baby was where it should be and with this pregnancy too b/c to make sure I dont have another one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • CONTINUED:Well, to make sure it wasn't another one, I have had one healthy baby after that and another one on the way!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I feel like she feels betrayed by my reaction, that she was expecting my support.. Shes my dear friend, with two children (16 and 11) who need their mother.. Granted ive only been researching and combing the net frantically since i found out about 3 hours ago, but it just seems hopeless to me.. Like a death sentance for at least one and possibly both. I understand her disapointment but i cant understand the choice to die for something you cant have! Im hoping and praying that its possible for her to carry this baby to term safely for the both of them. But at this point she will not see a doctor because treatment for the pregnancy was protrayed as her only option.. I pleaded with her to at least try to find a doctor who was willing to try, she cant do this on her own but she refuses.. Im sorry i dont want to vent, i do want to help.. IF anyone could point me towards situations where the baby came to term, or specialists with

    Answer by CG143 at 6:19 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • cont: experience in this area, it would be much appreciated.

    Answer by CG143 at 6:19 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Early in my pregnancy my doctor suspected an ectopic pregnancy because I was in a lot of pain. He told me at that point that it was IMPOSSIBLE to carry an ectopic baby to term because your falopian tubes and ovaries do not have the ability to grow and stretch to accomadate a baby. Luckily, mine wasnt ectopic but I did alot of research while the doctor thought it was a possibility.
    Here are two websites that will explain it to you more. Unfortunatly though all ectopic pregnancies must be removed. I hope your friend comes to term with her ectopic pregnancy so she doesnt cause her body any damage. You must understand though that she is probably scared and confused, especially if she is prolife. Even though she seems like she doesnt want or need you, now is the time she needs you most! Good Luck!

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 6:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
have another question

Next question overall (Relationships)
How can I say . . .