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What should I do??? Is it really all my fault? Why isn't she ever at blame?

Hi ladies. I am having a serious problem, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My mother in law has to live with us. She is disabled and needs ny DH to take care of her. Sometimes she wont take her meds, but she will tell us she did. As a result of her not taking them, she becomes a psychotic b%@$h. She has threatened my life with a knife, choked me, beat me with a stick, left bruises on my chest and has stolen my SSN and my ID. I have called the cops, and they say that they can't do anything because she is mentally unstable. We call her sister (she usually can reason with her) and she tells me that I need to back off and leave her alone.I swear I have not done one thing other than have a baby and marry her son. Moving out is not an option, and I dont have a vehicle.I am currently 6 weeks pregnant, and now according to her, I am just a whore who lays around all day and gets f&#%@d. My DH defends me, but it doesn't help.

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HelloKitty86

Asked by HelloKitty86 at 7:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Could she be moved to a nursing home? I don't know if they take mental cases in those.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • No...not your fault. Sounds like she should be in a mental hospital. Espescially, if she isn't taking her meds.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 7:34 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • wow, i would her sister and tell her sister to take her. thats too much stress for anyone to deal with. your going out of your way for her and you don't have too hun,
    tagansmybaby

    Answer by tagansmybaby at 7:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • actually the cops can do something if she is leaving briuses on you! did you even tell them that maybe she needs to be somewhere where they can control her anger and you having kids and being preggo shouldnt have them seeing this! wtf she needs to go duh
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I'd tell her in one of her rare calm moments that from now on you will give her the meds. Get her to the doctor for every two week blood work to see if the meds are in her blood or not. Try getting her to adult daycare where she can have activities to do. Talk to her doctors about this - she'd probably benefit from psychiatric counselling. Try your county too depending on her insurance. Don't take this kind of treatment, it could hurt your baby while your pregnant or after birth. Google elder care in your town or county, state. Stay strong, wear earplugs to lessen the stressful noise and get googlin!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Her sis wont take her because she knows how she gets. She was sent to a psych ward, but once she is on he meds again, they send her back home. Her other 2 sons want nothing to do with her because she is like this. I have always told my husband that I will never make him choose between me and his mom, but when we get a car, if she tries anything, then he shouldnt be surprised if when he comes home from work, me and the kids are gone. She isnt like this all the time, it happens about 2x every 2 or 3 months, and it lasts for about 5 days.
    HelloKitty86

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 7:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • One word- psychward.
    BEXi

    Answer by BEXi at 7:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • With you being pregnant and alteast one other child in the house something needs to give. I'd stand over her and watch her take that medicine if nothing else. But above all, you have to protect your children. I don't know what her health problem is, but I wish you a lot of luck in this situation, I know it's difficult to deal with this and make the hard decisions.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Disabled or not, I can't believe your husband has allowed her to continue living with you when she treats you so badly, especially now that you're pregnant.
    To me, it sounds more like you have a husband problem, not a MIL problem.
    She should be in a nursing home or an assisted living home.
    I'm appalled that your DH has put you in this situation. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that.
    I would talk to your DH about a different living situation. Let him know you just don't feel safe with her living with you, any longer, especially now that you're pregnant. If he's adamant about her stay in your home, you may want to consider finding another place to stay for a bit, for yours and your child's safety.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 7:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • She is in psychiatric counseling, but I think she needs more help from someone who is more capabile and trained than my husband. He has been caring for her for 8 years...and she has trouble doing things because she has MS. She refuses to get out of bed, there is just too much to write. But please keep the suggestions coming. Thank you all.
    HelloKitty86

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 7:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

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