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My middle son is jealous of my other 2 children, HELP!!!!

I have a 9 year old, a 7 year old, and a 3 year old. My 7 year old has started getting jealous over the other 2 children and thinks that he doesn't get all the things that they get. I have tried everything I can think of to make it better. I enrolled him in Karate. He gets jealous when someone gives my daughter stuff that he doesn't get. He cried when my daughter got new shoes, when he got new shoes a month before. He cried when my daughter had her birthday and said that he didn't get as much stuff when i know he actually got more! I don't know what to do anymore, I am at a lost!!!! Please Help!!! I am desperate....

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akeith0316

Asked by akeith0316 at 8:06 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • Honey, it's called Middle Child Syndrome. We have a chip on our shoulders and believe that mom and dad prefer the other two rather than us. It's the way it is. You need to make some special time for just him and you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster - make a promise that you will spend 15-30 mins a day with JUST your middle one - you may need to make this promise to the other two as well, of course, but l kids love one on one time more than anything!
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 8:49 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • I think it is normal for one kid to be jealous of the other.  They want your full undivided attention.  I would go out of my way to recognize him while he is going through this phase (he will probably not want anything to do w/you when he becomes a teenager!)  In the meantime, I would give him extra hugs &tell him "how is my special boy today?".  Spend one on one time.  Brag about him so that he can overhear.  Tell him what a great helper he is to you (especially when he does something you ask him to do for the 3 yr old).   Click on sibling rivalry for good  books on this subject  http://www.cjkidz.com/parentsgrandparentsteachers.html 

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 9:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • That's for sure, middle child syndrome. My DD is 8 and she is the middle child and oh boy, the drama. Nothing is fair, no one loves her, etc. She is treated just like her older brother and younger brother. Things only seem to get unfair when the attention is not on her and we have talked to her about that. She always seems to have to be better then the other two, etc. So when her older brother does something good, then the drama starts, etc. I constantly remind her, that they are all loved the same, that she gets the same as her brothers. I just think its something I will have to deal with for a long time. Good luck,
    dcoscia3

    Answer by dcoscia3 at 9:34 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Sorry, just to add, I read the other posts and agree with the others as well. I do try to spend one on one time with each of my kids. And since my middle is the only girl, I do let her know how special that is, to be mommy's only little girl and all the things we do together that I can't do with the boys. And with my boys, I try to do things with them that I know they like, talk about video games with my oldest or star wars and play legos with my little guy. It's the little things that make a big difference.
    dcoscia3

    Answer by dcoscia3 at 9:37 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • There was only me and my sister growing up and we were both jealous of the other at one time. Not because of anything different my mom did, we were just different. I have 3 kids, a boy and 2 girls. I'm afraid of the day my middle DD shows the middle sib signs. Each of our kids have nicknames and I tell them quietly and privately that they are my favourite_________. I started it with my DD after my last DD was born as I could no longer say that she was my favourite girl. She is now my favourite Goobear. I hope it helps in the future.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 3:52 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • My middle child is the only boy so he has two battles. Recently I have felt the need to take just one child with me shopping or to run errands( for various reasons) and have found it to be so upliftingly joyful. The single child gets my one on one attention and usually gets bought something just for himself and it's special. I'm not overwhelmed with 3+ the activity and I can focus on just him or her. I take turns with them, it's fun.
    MAMAMISTY33

    Answer by MAMAMISTY33 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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