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Grandmother trouble.

I've got my own plans on how to discipline my daughter (who is due in April).

I've read books, I've considered my options, and I've made my plan of attack. Like my older sister, I want to approach discipline without hitting (spanking), because I don't think you can teach a child not to hit when you do it to them, and I believe it hurts a person's self-esteem. It did mine.

Now, I've already seen through my niece that my mother, who I am living with due to everyone's financial strain, is not going to respect my wishes. She waited until my sister left the house to spank her daughter.

All I can think to do is tell her that if she won't respect my wishes, I'll move out.

What can I do?

Answer Question

Asked by EldritchElegy at 10:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (3)
  • I hate to tell you this about your mother, but if you have seen her treat your sisters daughter this way (knowing that your sister didn't approve) she is not going to respect your wishes and values!!! You have got to put your foot down, and tell her if she cannot go along with the way you want your child treated, then she cannot be around your child period, and move out. I have had to do that with my mother, i haven't spoken to her in 5 years and she hasn't seen my daughter since she was 8 months old!!! I'm sorry I know that isn't what you wanted to hear. But I know how my mom was, and if your mother is anything like mine... then it will be negative for your child to be around her anyways!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • Can you move out? As long as that is not an empty threat then that is fine. But if that is not an option then perhaps not the best choice to say. My guess is that the above poster is correct that she won't respect your wishes. If this were my situation I would be careful to not have my mom watch my son when I was at work or going out for the evening. While a pain...if I can afford it I would hire a baby sitter and drop the child off at the sitters. I could not afford to do less if I was commited to this parenting style. No need to discuss with my mom b/c this is my child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Mar. 30, 2009

  • To have the most control over how you raise your child, you're best to do it in a place of your own. I happen to be fine with spanking and allow my mother in law to spank my children if they need it, because I believe that she loves them and would never hurt them and I want their discipline to be consistent. But if she (or anyone else) spanked my child against my wishes I would be very angry.


    Answer by MommyAddie at 5:19 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

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