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Do you think I am being stupid?

My husband and I have not had sex since July 5! He promises me there is nothing going on, he just has not interest for some reason. He goes to work and comes home, he never goes away by himself. We do everything together on the weekends. Do you think he could be cheating or do you think maybe there could be some other problem?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:12 AM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • if he is always home there isnt much room to cheat. are you sure he's working? if so then no worries there. Try sitting down with him and figure it out together. He might be embarrassed about something or maybe he needs a boost. Maybe do something sexy for him? Best to just talk about it! If he doesnt want to talk then worry a tad.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 7:17 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Does your husband still connect with you in other ways, besides sex? Is he kind and loving to you throughout the day, or has he become more standoffish? If he's still being kind to you, then I would say he has some issues that need addressing--psychological, physical, is he worried about having another child, is he worried about his job/being able to provide for your current family?

    If, in addition, to no sex, hes also being a jerk/standoffish, then I would say there is a relationship issue that needs addressing.

    How long have you two been together. If its been say 10+ years, he COULD (not saying this happens!), but COULD have just "settled in to your relationship, and sex doesn't interest him as much as when you were starting out?! You know the whole ebb and flow" of a relationship that occurs when you have real-life responsibilities and being "carefree" moves down on the priority list???!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:24 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I had a friend that her hubby didn't have sex with her for 6 years and he said it wasn't her, he just didn't feel the need for it, said everything seemed to come back to sex, maybe he was rebelling against it, I don't know, but when she finally cheated and he found out, he decided maybe it really was important to her and she said he turned in to a energizer man (I am NOT recommending that you cheat, it's not a good idea), she never told me if he ever admitted what the deal really was, but the funny thing is right after that she started menopause and now she's refusing to give it last I heard. Sometimes it's psychological problem, sometimes medical and sometimes it's just one of those things and they're embarrassed it will happen again so they just stop trying. Most men won't go to the dr, but they should, to get prostate checked, as well as blood work.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:32 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Not saying this is you but I had a friend whose husband stopped having sex with her for 4 years. She would ask if there was a problem he would say no. She would try doing things for him to entice him this did not work. He still did things with the family. He still held her hand. He still slept in the same bed. Finally he told her he was not in love with her anymore and wanted out of the relationship. My friend just could not understand why it took him 4 years to admitt that causing more heart break than needed. He should have unowned up to it sooner and it would have been easier. Now she is in therapy.
    twilite2000

    Answer by twilite2000 at 7:42 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • He could be depressed for having a mid life crises??
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 7:56 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Maybe there is something medically going on.
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 8:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • my hubby said it was his blood pressure med when he went for 6mo. having it very seldom. he stopped taking them and thing are way better, but sure I still wonder if it was true becuase he was acting depressed and now he has changed again im realy stuck at what to believe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I think there is something else going on with him. My husband and I have gone through this before and it wasn't because of cheating. Everything was totally fine in our relationship and we still had a good time together but there was no sex. The bottom line was that we both got lazy and didn't make a conscious effort. Make a conscious effort to spend alone time together...without the kids. If that doesn't work it might be a mid-life crisis too. Good Luck. I'm sure everything will be fine.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 9:14 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • maybe...down there isn't working right...

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:23 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • To the ANON that has the hubby that stopped taking the meds.... get him back on the medication for the high blood pressure. It does change your sex life, but without the medication he won't have a life if he has a massive heart attack or stroke. Sex isn't nearly as important as having my hubby here even tho I do like the sex. They can give him medicine to help with the sex thing, but let his dr know he stopped taking it and why.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:51 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

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