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How should I handle this?

Okay. So my son is in 3rd grade. Has many friends and is a very nice boy. Doesn't get into trouble at school and the teacher has never complained to me about his behavior. Well, my cousin just called me whose daughter is in my sons class. She called to complain about my son and his friend (her daughters best friend) stating they were being mean to her daughter at lunch. Now, I know my son and if he was being mean to her dd it's usually because he was defending himself. She's a bully and has been mean to him on numerous occasions because I've seen it with my own eyes. I've never complained to her about this!
I see this as being so petty, this is 3rd grade come on! Tomorrow, they'll all be friends again. I'm just getting very irritated in her calling me to complain about every little thing. I'm afraid I'm going to speak my mind to her when she calls me back.
What should I do? What should I say?

 
mamaada

Asked by mamaada at 9:05 AM on Mar. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • LOL If she is the one that's usually the bully,maybe he's getting the jump on her before she can do it to him. However, you are raising a young man... who, normally, is very sweet to other people. Even though this seems like an isolated case, and he may be very justified in his behavior, you still gotta look at it this way; you're not raising him to be mean to anyone - ever - especially girls. I would simply and straight forward address it with your son in a very general manner. Getting all wound up in the details will make you as petty as she is being. Don't stoop to her level. Just address it as a general concern of a mom raising a little gentleman, and leave it at that. if she calls back (about the same incident) tell her you've addressed it with him and feel confident that it's all good. If it happens again... you may have to get details ....if he IS doing this... there may be a reason... you'll want 2 know why.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 9:27 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • UGH...Boy do I hate parents like this. You as SO right...kids this age will fight and bicker one minute and then be best friends the next meanwhile the parents become enemies. I'm not sure how I would handle this one aside from telling my son to stay away from her daughter.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 9:06 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • P.S. I raised two sons. My philosophy was: We're raising men in this house.

    I went through times just like this... and always turned it to a positive in that I used it as an opportunity to teach my sons. I did not waste my time fighting, defending or even justifying with another parent. In 36 (combined) years of parenting 2 boys... I found that there was only Once, when my child had done something they shouldn't have done. All the other times, we addressed the general rules of being a gentleman, a good person, being nice, etc.

    Parents of bullies are often bullies themselves and you can't stoop to their level.... Never fight with a stupid person. They'll pull you down to their level and beat you with experience.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 9:34 AM on Mar. 31, 2009