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Can I get your opinion?

My now X just broke up with me. Lately I have been stressed and have been letting everything get to me. I have to go to a new job after two years at my current which will take my weekends off away, I had been PMSing and sick. I admit that I wasn't being a good gf and I was often negative and irritated. I was hoping that when I did start my new job, it would all soon pass, but he broke up with me because of it. I have stood by him through a lot, through his bi-polar alcoholism where he would treat me like crap, but I love him and always took him back. Now that things arn't going good for me, he dumps me. When it was him having issues, I would patiently wait and we would talk about things, but when he broke up with me, there was no discussion, no communication, he just cut me out of his life completely.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • To be honest, it sounds like in the long run, you will be better off without him. He isn't worth it if he doesn't want to be with you. If he isn't supportive, he isn't worth it either. Try to find what really makes you happy about yourself and work from there. Try to keep in mind that any man worth having, wants to have you too.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 11:52 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • It is for the best, it sounds like. One sided relationship never work out.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:52 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • It sounds that you got lucky that he broke up with you. Stop looking back and move forward. There are better man out there that will not treat you like crap, But it is up to you??
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:53 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • It sonds like he did you a favor...get your ass back in gear and you will be fine..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:53 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • How long has it been since the two of you broke up? Do you have children with him? 9if so there still needs to be communication between the two of you for the childrens sake) you can't make someone love you. and if he doesn't love you then it is a lost cause...but if you think that it can be salvaged then try to talk to him.send him a letter if he won't speak to you! Tell him how you feel and let him know that it really hurt you that he just up and left with no real explanation. But i am also worried that you said he is bi-polar and an alcoholic, this could be a potentially dangerous situation and you need to step back and think about what is BEST for YOU! you can love someone but if they are not what is best for you then they are better left alone...take some time reevaluate you life and what you want out of life and if you can't see your life without him in it then you need to try what you can to try to talk this out..Luck!
    ThinkPink23

    Answer by ThinkPink23 at 11:56 AM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • We have no kids together, I have a son that loves him and looks up to him. We were together for a couple of years off and on. He lives with his roomate. We do work together though and he broke up with me yesterday... we just got back from a trip to Vegas the day before.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • If someone isn't there for you when you need them the most than they aren't worth having around at all. A true friend or true love will love you in your good and bad moments. That sounds like what you were doing for him, but you weren't getting it in return. It will be hard to get over this but I definitely think this is for the best and you should be happy he left you and move on. You learned a valuable lesson and I would take advantage of it. A healthy relationship is give and take. Not give give give and get nothing back in return. He obviously doesn't love you the way you love him and you can only be thankful that he showed you this now instead of 5 more years down the road. There are better guys out there that won't break up with you because you haven't been the happiest funest girlfriend lately. I wish you good luck and happiness.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I would say you are a giver and he is a taker. These are never good matches. There should be some giving and some taking by each party. Balance is the key to every good relationship. I'm sure the signs have been visible all the while, but you never really became aware until now because he was the more needy one. Some women just naturally attract needy men--the takers. These women need to learn to be particularly careful not to fall into their traps. They need to learn to ask more questions, look at how the man relates to the other people around him before letting the relationship progress very far. These people are very selfish, and all of life revolves around them and what they need. Everyone else is just a means to an end and that end is satisfying themselves. I think you need to let this one go and be much more cautious in the future.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I am reading all your answers and they are great, it is good to read what you think... Thank you so much. I am trying to be positive about this but I feel like this is all my fault because when he did try to be there for me, be all loving, I would just get irritated and be negative. It has not been a good time in my life and it just seems like everything is going down hill for me right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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