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How do you feel about teenagers have sex, them using birthcontrol and do you talk to your teen about sex more than to say don't do it?

I want to know how you ladies feel about the above. I talk to my teen and tell her why I think she should wait. She is 13 and know where near ready. I do not like the fact that another family members is having sex and not being safe. I know I can not follow them around and stop them and in the end the choice is theirs. I have and do talk openly about sex and answer questions the best I can (very embarssing). I do not think birthcontrol is safe and it cannot protect you from everything. I love my girls and I want the best for them. How would you tell your loved ones they are worth the wait?

 
debmom07

Asked by debmom07 at 12:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (132 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • you know what.... U should tell her that men marry virgins and screw sluts.... does she want to be screwed (litterly) out of finding a NICE guy or does she want to find and nice guy and eventually get married!!!
    NOT TO MENTION sex is a good playing card eventually to get a guy that likes her to pop the question sooner, but even after he does.... WAIT UNTIL THE PAPERS ARE SIGNED!! Lol than she is allllll gooooood!!!
    or tell her that anyone can loose there virginity in 3 minutes but it took a lifetime of waiting and saving somehting special to eventually share with ONE person not the basketball team!
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 8:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • luckily talking about sex in my home is NOT embarrasing. It's a simple part of nature that every child should be aware of even before their teens in my opinion. I'm not going to convince my daughter that she needs to wait until marriage. As long as she is in a commited loving relationship I'm fine with that. And yes, if she is having sex, which she would tell me because we're open like that, i would get her birth control.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:08 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Explain to her the possible consequences of having sex such as STI's and pregnancy. Not only tell her that those are the possible consequences but describe the hardships of each one and what those girls that have it go through. Make her feel scared to have sex lol. Also tell her that no matter what guys say, most of them want the girl they marry to be a virgin. Even though most guys are sexually active, thats because they're young and most of the girls they're sexually active with aren't the girls they take seriously.
    youngmom3525

    Answer by youngmom3525 at 12:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • We will be very open about sex. It wont be an embarrassing thing, although for our kids it may be hehe.

    I will tell her the consequences of sex, show her what the STD's are, ways to protect herself, etc. We will discuss her cycles and what it all means.

    I know that not all teenagers wait, and I wont tell her something unrealistic like "wait until you're married". I will be real and honest and open.

    Hormonal BC is not an option for me, and I wouldn't want her on it, but in the end it would be her choice.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 12:30 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I am very open about sex with my child. He knows about birth control and that he should wait until marriage. While I know that is not realistic, I have told him that he needs to be protected and ready for the consequences of unprotected sex. I also not him to not believe a girl when she says she is on BC, some girls do lie. I know some that have lied about it. You should always be open and honest with your kids about sex, what is taught about BC and STD's is usually taught too late.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • My 17 year old dd and I have always been open about sex.Her first time was about a year and a half ago.I put her on birth control pills.I want her to be safe and not to get pregnant.She knows to also make sure her partner always uses a condom.She was shown pics. of sexually transmitted diseases in school.She is smart enough to be careful.
    momofsixangels

    Answer by momofsixangels at 2:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I am very open with my son about sex and know from experience that telling teens don't do it until you are married is unrealistic. I also had a friend who refused to put her daughters on birth control because she said "pregnancy is not the worst thing to get from sex and I want them to use condoms" . I have told my son (16) that he needs to be ready to accept the consequences of sex and remind him all the time that condoms are not 100% effective- I even joke that if condoms are 98% and the pill is 98% that means that together they are only 96% effective - see subtract the 2% failure for each from 100%!


    Just keep talking when ever it comes up and hopefully she will make the right choices as you said we cannot be with them 24/7 and the decision is ultimately theirs.

    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 7:30 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Wait For Me by Rebecca St.James is a good book...
    LaBrKo

    Answer by LaBrKo at 8:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I don't think we put enough emphasis on how good waiting is... For me, the joy of having my first time with my husband was more of a motivator than the fact that I could get pregnant or a disease if I didn't wait. My daughters agree.
    LaBrKo

    Answer by LaBrKo at 8:56 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Well momofsixangels, just so you know. my mom thought the same thing. and i got pregnant at seventeen. we were open and everything. please dont try not to be too careful and please dont assume. as the saying goes, it just makes an ass out of you and me. =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 11:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2009