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how can i get my two step kids to not brake everything

i have four kids of my own and two step kids who are five and three they get into everything brake everything my kids cannot have anything without them braking it. i have tried time out spanking taking things away nothing is working please please help

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mjbw

Asked by mjbw at 1:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • OMG if you were my kids step mother and you put your hands on them it wouldnt be pretty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • i have custody of them the mom is a drug addict and moved away and does not ever see them i have been raising them they have been through alot and spanking is not a bad thing i got spanked when i was little and guess what it made me a bettar person
    mjbw

    Answer by mjbw at 1:51 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Well, some kids are generally more destructive than others. Are they breaking things on purpose or just playing too rough? First off, I would not let them have toys that are valuable or expensive or easily broken. I would explain that they can play with their own toys. THey are 5 and 3, so maybe someone needs to sit down and teach them how to be gentle with things. They are so young and can easily be taught to value toys and especially other peoples toys. I don't think its okay to spank them. They are not your kids to spank and also because this is kid like behavior. This is not them being bad, its just them not knowing how to play so rough. My kids are kinda hard on toys and when they were very little, maybe 2 or 3, they were very hard on their toys. Especially books and crayons. I didn't realize that they didn't have age appropriate toys. Kids that young should have toys that are not easily broken. Keep valuable put away.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • "they have been through alot" yet you spank them. Deal with it kids break stuff. Make them do chores to earn money to replace things they break. Or braking. I agree with above poster.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I agree with momofsaee keep valuable things put up. I have 5 kids and have had stuff broken. I have never seen one break anything on purpose. I also agree with that is not a good reason to spank.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:00 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Okay, then technically they are not your step kids. If they haven't seen their mother in a long time and you are raising them, then you are their mother. If you plan on raising them for a long time, then I would not make the differentiation between them. They are all your kids. THen yes, you have rights to spank, but I still think that this is not the way to handle kids that young tearing up stuff. They are still very young children. They should not be playing with video game systems, or anything else that has a lot of pieces. Just one piece toys. Its hard to break a tonka truck. Remember..age appropriate toys only. If they are doing this out of sheer spite, then I would come up with an appropriate punishment. If you think spanking is the way to go, then fine, but you said that it wasnt working. If thats the case then I would move on to something else.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 2:00 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • buy them their own toys that are not so easy to break and then parcel out the toys between each of the 6 kids so they each have their own toys, not to be touched by the other's without the owner's consent. Keep a few toys for communal use by all the children, but make sure they are inexpensive or unbreakable. Also, make sure the toys are appropriate for the children's age level.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • for one they are my kids i have had them for almost 3 years and i do put things up but they still get it i have things hanging on the wall and they will find something to brake it they and they do have to clean up what they brake it does not matter they broke everything they got for christmas they know what they are supposed to do with the toys they just still brake them it is not my fault i have done everything i can for them i do not think i am a bad person and it is not fare that everybody is acting like that
    mjbw

    Answer by mjbw at 2:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • let tell everybody what they brake doors walls dishes pictures my glass figures that are on a shelf on the wall my other kids are 8, 6, 5 and 5 they do not do that they have never done that and i do not spank them all the time like i said it does not work i do time out more than anything so quit attacking me you put yourself in my shoes and tell me what would you do my husband never helps he is hardly ever around so i am doing it all by myself so like i said not only toys if it was only toys who cares they have plenty of those it is everything else
    mjbw

    Answer by mjbw at 2:14 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Since it sounds like you are trying but nothing you have tried is working you may want to consider going and talking with a family therapist. They may have some good ideas also maybe the kids are breaking things due to what they have had to go through. Thats pretty rough having your mom just leave and not be there anymore and then having to be part of a blended family. Why isnt your husband helping? Maybe they are acting out because he is not home as you said. 1-800-448-3000 www.boystown.org. This is an excellent refrence. Check out the website they have trained therapists for free you can call day or night to answer parenting problems.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:29 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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