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Should parent volunteers be able to put their hands on your child?

My DS was not necessairly behaving in school today. The teacher told me this and that him and another boy were squeezing another boys arm. There was a mom there who grabbed my son's arm and according to my DS (4) hurt his bone. I'm bothered by this because I don't feel that she should have touched my son. Yes I'm aware that my son was not behaving and he needed to have a punishment. But I also feel that when I send him to school I am leaving him under the supervision of his teacher. NOw if it had been her to have grabbed his arm to take him away from the boy I'd be more understanding of the situation. I have talked with this mom, on the playground, in class and at a b-day party and I don't agree with some of the parenting ideas that she has. I'm sure this is influencing how I'm feeling about what happened. My question is what would you say to the teacher cont.


Asked by AmandaH321 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would simply ask to speak to the teacher and let her know that you feel uncomfortable with another parent having grabbed your child's arm especially since he complained of it really hurting.
    Since this was the first time and it may have just been an automatic/immed. reaction. I would not blow up but I would DEFINATELY let the teacher know that you DO NOT feel comfortable with the situation and would appreciate it not happening again.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 4:10 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I do plan on talking to her and telling her that I'm uncomfortable about what happened. I just don't know exactly how to word my feelings.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 3:44 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I would feel the same way, in school our teachers were able to keep us in line without even laying a hand on us, and a other parent should know better, that's not her job. I would let her know that it's unexceptable to grab my son, it's the teacher to disapline not hers, it's not her house!!!

    Answer by NicholeAT at 3:48 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • NO, a parent volunteer should NEVER touch your child in a hurtful manner, or even in a "disciplinary" manner, although they DO have a responsibility to break up a fight or deal with two kids ganging up on a third! When I've volunteered as a room mom, I've been known to hug a kid who is a hugger or rub a shoulder or high five 'em, but that's also what I see my kids' teachers do. I have also put my hand between two younger children (four or five) who were arguing and starting to get physical.

    I agree with MamiJaAyala, but would also talk to this mom since you already know her. I would just say, my son said this and the teacher corroborated it, I'd appreciate it if you could find another way to handle this situation if it happens again. Also let the teacher know you've talked to her. After that, if it happens again, I say visit the principal.

    Answer by crittermomma at 5:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I'd just tell the teacher what you said here. That your son told you what happened, and you are uncomfortable with the idea of a parent handling your child that way. I'd ask her to please ensure that in the future that parent volunteers do not touch the students in that way, and that she, as the teacher, handle any discipline that needs to be done. It would bother me, too.All she needed to do was say, "What's going on here?" or something, to draw the teacher's attention to what was happening. She never needed to touch him. As crittermomma says, it's one thing to hug or high five a kid. I often get and give hugs to kids in my son's classes, I just seem to draw kids to me. But I would never even consider disciplining a student in their classes. That's the job of the teacher or the teacher's paid, trained assistant, not a parent volunteer.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:19 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I helped out when my son was in Headstart (yeah, totally different) but we were told we could NOT touch any of the children, we could only direct the teacher to the situation.

    No, the other parent should not have touched your kid.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 7:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2009