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For those considering a surrogate...

This thought came up after looking into becoming a surrogate. There are lots of regulations for the expectant mother; most of which I completely agree with and understand why they are in place. Others, however; are IMO questionable.

Would you "allow" bending of some rules if you could then negotiate a lower price for the surrogacy (or other variable)? Which would you overlook? Would you overlook some things depending on if the egg was implanted or if it was the surrogates?

Examples: (not necessarily mine)
-Maternal history of Gestational Diabetes (with no family history of diabetes and previous children born with normal glucose levels)
-Maternal history of /family history of chemical imbalance (such as depression or anxiety, no history of 'extreme' mental disturbance)
-Maternal smoking of cigerettes
-Maternal smoking of marijuana

This is a genuine question. Honest, non-bashing answers would be appriciated.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • As a potential IP(intended parent ) I would consider using an SM with the maternal history of GD& chemical imbalance if she would provide documentation to show it had not affected her own biological children . I would possibly consider a cigarette smoker if she were willing to abstain during conception & pregnancy but absolutely would NOT consider a surro who used marijuanna or any other type drug . With the cigarettes if you arent smoking the nicotene getsout of your system pretty quickly so itwouldnt affect the baby if you quit or abstain . With the drugs it is just a personal choice that it wouldnt be a risk we wanted to take . There are too many children who have birthdefects & other disorders caused by drug use during pregnancy .We wouldnt want to possibly put our child thru a lifetime of problems caused by even occasional use . If you are using a surro you want them to do healthy things so the baby is healthy .
    Peachez43

    Answer by Peachez43 at 11:52 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I think they do these things to cover their asses. I know someone who did the surrogate thing four times. I think if you have any of their "things" if the couple wants the process to happen with you it can happen. I think they do a waver. See, if it's not in your gene pool it shouldn't affect their child. But there are a lot of sue happy people out there. That's why they are like that.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:09 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • OP HERE-

    Mostly I was asking due to the fact that many of the surrogacy agencies won't even put you on their list (?) if you have some of the above examples...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • You could post a personal add saying that you are willing to do it for less, find a couple then go from there. I think my friend did it for a friend of hers like that.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:22 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Pretty sure as an adoptee, I wouldn't qualify as a surrogate (as I have none of my biological history). But I think this is interesting as most people who go into the process of becoming parents, don't have this type of control (trying to control/reduce some forms of genetic medical conditions).

    So how would you feel as a surrogate to find that although you were screened in because you didn't have any of this history, to find that the child you carried for others has parents who themselves suffer from some of these conditions?

    I'm interested because I (as a birth mom) found out that the adoptive mom that I chose based on understanding she could not have children, in fact could not have children because of the risks of passing on her bipolar and other mental health and personality disorders. She is faithful in taking her meds but her condition has affected her parenting according to my daughter (now 19).
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 11:50 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Surrogates often get paid a lot of money, $30k + when you include travel and all the other stuff, when laying that kind of moey out, people are cautious. I am talking about true surrogates, not Gestational carriers. My guess is that smoking is not seen as strongly as mental heath when they are screening, but often people will be picky.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • -Maternal smoking of cigerettes
    -Maternal smoking of marijuana

    I would not want this in my unborn child's body. I believe it to be harmful and I would turn a surrogate because of it.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:43 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I think people need to get off their quest for perfection. No human being is. Many PAP's have such stringent requirements that they wouldn't even "choose" to parent themselves. Instead of hiring someone to bring another child into the world, my advice is love the ones that are already here and waiting for families to call them their own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I think this "Maternal history of Gestational Diabetes" is more to protect the long term health of the surrogate. If you have gestational diabetes, you can possibly have higher blood pressure, and you are more likely to develop diabetes when you get older.
    7babies4me

    Answer by 7babies4me at 11:28 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

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