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Have you had a miscarriage and decided NOT to try again?

I've always felt we were meant to have 4 kids. The day we found out I was pregnant with #4, I felt our family was complete. But I had a miscarriage 2 months ago. If we got pregnant again, I'd feel like we were replacing our baby. And like we were trying to have our 5th, which I never wanted 5.

I'm grieving for him, and I'm grieving about being done having kids. Does that sound screwy or what?? Just wondering if anyone else has had issues like this after miscarriage.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (3)
  • I did. We decided after two that we were done so my hubby had a vasectomy, which did not work. We got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 12w. It was hard because even though we were done, we were very excited to be having our third, but after talking about it we decided not to try again. But evidentally we were meant to have 3 because we got pregnant again while I was waiting for my tubal. I don't feel like I was replacing the baby we lost, that baby holds a special place in my heart, just as the first baby I lost - my first pregnancy - does. Even though we are really done now, it is still hard, I find myself a little envious of friends and family who are getting pregnant and having babies. They are experiencing something I won't ever again, and I don't want to, not really, but a tiny corner of my heart misses feeling my babies move inside me and nursing them and that smell, everything. Grieve all you need to.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 11:32 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • I would try woamn miscarry all the time & don't even know it ( Heavy periods) your not replacing the baby , there was something wrong that it wasn't growing . go ahead & try again i
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • MY FIRST PREGNANCY RESULTED IN A MISCARRIAGE, 2 MONTHS LATER I WAS EXPECTING AND HAD A HEALTHY BABY...2 YRS LATER...TODAY I'M 5 MONTHS WITH WHO I CONSIDER MY THIRD BABY. I MISS MY FIRST AND I THINK ABOUT HOW IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TO LOVE HIM. THEN I THINK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND HOW I CAN'T LIVE W/O HER, AND WHY COULDN'T I JUST HAVE THEM ALL. COUNT YOUR BLESSING, BABY #5 COULD BE 2X THE FUN!!!
    meli14k

    Answer by meli14k at 11:44 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

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