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Is there any good way to tell them?

We are pregnant with our 4th child... and the catch is we just had a baby 5 months ago... I got pregnant when my baby boy was 3months or so... My husbands family has never been kind about when we get pregnant and in the past have said some negative things... The only child I had that they never said anything mean, was my last. I now just don't know how to handle telling them and if they are negative about it how should I handle that... In the past I just took it and not said anything, but I'm affraid now if they say hurtful things I will snap and say something mean back.... Does anybody have any suggestions on how to tell them and when might be a good time... We right now aren't in a good financail situation, my husband lost is job a couple of months ago and we are hardly getting by..... wondering if we should wait until he finds a job or just go ahead and get it over with and tell them?

 
soonmommyof3

Asked by soonmommyof3 at 11:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 11 (634 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Why don't you just go into it prepared. You're obviously aware of their vocal and negative opinions so why don't you prepare yourself. Maybe take from past experiances where they said something hurtful and think about what you wanted to say but never did. Then take that and make it a more family friendly version and finally get it all off your chest. That way you will feel better and they might actually understand and get off your case without you having to be mean? Congrats on the baby! Good luck with the in-laws. You're in my prayers.
    prettylilrae

    Answer by prettylilrae at 12:46 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Why is it any of their business? If they can't be helpful and supportive then why include them at all. You are caring and making a whole new person inside of you!!! You are an amazing and beautiful creature!!! You don't need negativity and crap from people you don't respect anyway. You have all you need. Good luck and congrats!!!!!!
    zoozleroo

    Answer by zoozleroo at 11:56 PM on Mar. 31, 2009

  • Well, I can't just cut them out... They are a big part of my husbands life and he probably could do without his mom and sister, but he loves his dad to death and his dad is a good man, his family are good people, they can just say some mean and very hurtful things sometimes... sil and mil are a big part of my other kids lives and are good to them, they just think to much about finances and it always works out in the end... See last time they didnt say anything cuz, my hubby and I both had jobs... so I will probably wait until he finds one.... or I do..
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:06 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • And set some healthy boundaries. Let them know that you are not willing to talk about the pregnancy or jobs or finances or whatever else you feel as though they are negative about. Let them know that you love them and appreciate their roles in your life but that you and your husband will figure things out together. Be gracious and understanding but strong and clear.
    zoozleroo

    Answer by zoozleroo at 12:43 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I would wait until he found a job or until you are unable to hide it because of your expanding belly.

    Then I would have your husband tell them and make sure he tells them to keep their comments to themselves around you.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:44 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Do they have email? Make signs that say something along the lines of "we're getting a new brother or sister!" and have your kids all holding the signs, looking excited. Then take a picture and email it to them. Then when the phone rings make your husband answer it and you don't have to hear their negativity at all. I would wait until tomorrow or after to do this or they might think it's an April Fool's joke.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:11 AM on Apr. 1, 2009