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I cheated. What now?

Last nite, I cheated on my husband, and I deeply regret it. What do I do now? I am never going to see this guy again. Do I tell my husband, or keep it to myself?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • First shut up shutin up until you decide why you cheated and whether or not you want your marriage to last. Figure out what is wrong with you and what you want for your life before you drag pain and anger into his. Do you have kids? What happens to them if your marriage falls apart. If you regret it then don't do it again and keep your mouth shut. If not then tell him and move on. You should not expect to have your cake and eat it too.

    Answer by salexander at 8:45 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I'd tell him... the first step towards renewing trust is being completely honest.

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I tell him, he's likely to find out or figure it out in the future. Beg for forgiveness (if you really even care), hope he doesn't kick you out and file for divorce, and make an appointment with a marriage counselor to address the reasons why you cheated in the first place!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • tough one. i think i would not say anything mainly cause u will never see him again. so i would just try to work out any trouble i might have in my marriage. if u tell he will have a hard time trusting u again and its gonna be harder. its up to u but best of luck. its a hard decision think long and hard. before u do/say something.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:16 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • If you don't tell then you will have to live with the guilt every day for the rest of your life. That alone could kill your marriage. There is a reason why you cheated. Get to the bottom of it and fix your marriage.

    Answer by amy31308 at 9:18 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • sigh. Leave for a bit to have space between you to figure this out and get counselling. You obviously thought before you cheated that your husband would be the forever guy. Your husband needs to know from you through counselling or directly from you without, counseling can help you as you tell him and to work things through to either stay together or divorce. Get counseling. Who ever you end up with keep your legs closed for any one else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • It is a tough one. If it were me I would tell.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:23 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Of course you should tell him. He deserves to know. And you shoudl regret it and I feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. There's no excuse for cheating. Your poor husband! I certainly hope you don't have any kids!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Depends on why you cheated. Is your husband meeting your needs? in not don't tell him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • First of all, yes you need to speak to your husband about this. That being said, before you do, you need to think really hard about WHY you cheated. There is NEVER an excuse to cheat, you obviously know that or you wouldn't be feeling so bad now. But perhaps taking that first step will allow you to re-evaluate your relationship with your husband. Are there problems in your marriage that have never been addressed? Do you have a sex addiction? Does he not give you enough attention? Do you love him? These are all reasons why you may have cheated. Think about it before you talk so that you can speak logically.

    But you absolutely have to tell him about it. Cheating is awful, but can be dealt with. Cheating and LYING is unforgivable.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 9:37 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

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