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When does it get any better??

My husband and I have been married for going on two years. We have been together for eleven years. At this point of time in our relationship it is the worst. We having been arguing none stop about tiny little things. I Truely love my husband, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this. Will this phase ever pass? What can I do to make it stop? Should we seek counseling?????

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Juscallmema816

Asked by Juscallmema816 at 10:11 AM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I am sure it will pass eventually but it will take hard work to get there. I think you should go to counseling and seek help. Fighting and being miserable isn't always the death of a relationship. It takes hard work and dedication. If you are both open to it, try to get some help.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 10:13 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • yes it will pass. Read up on marriage books go find one that you guys like and read it, they can really help!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • probally just a bad week or whatever, me & my dh get like this alot & we've been together 8 years... i think you jsut get tired of each other for a while, then it's all happy & love after that LOL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Every marriage has its ups and down. It just depends on how people handle the down part. If you notice you are fighting about everything even little things there is usually an underlying reason. Only you can know what that is or a trained marriage therapist can help. You can also make it a point for the next week to let the little things go, refuse to argue, say nothing negative. Believe me I know this is hard.lol There are also alot of great books on marriage out there.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:16 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Counseling could help. Make sure you, especially if you're a stay at home mom, get time for yourself every day with your husband being with the kids instead of you. Friday night date nights, by the time Saturday comes around there's usually other things going on - household chores, busy days with kids that can cancel out a Saturday night date. You each not only you need to have time to watch kids for the other and nurture one another. If there's no nurturing both ways relief of childcare, wife and husband's aches acknowledged etc. then problems grow. If he doesn't jump into these things as being interesting and worthy to do for you and with you then counseling is defiintely useful. Counsellors with an interest in spiritual can be very compassionate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I Truely love my husband, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this.

    Just because you love someone doesn't mean you are meant to be together. You know what's really going on in your relationship and you're the one that's going to have to live like this. Talk and listen. If it's something that can't be fixed then maybe you have outgrown each other. Yes we go through our ups and downs but if the bad outweigh the good than its time to let go. But all when all is said and done give it one last try with all you got and when you do come up with a decision you can say "hey, I done my best".
    diamondmamma

    Answer by diamondmamma at 10:19 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • All relationships are tested. You guys can get better. Talk to your hubby and let him know how you feel. Make sure to say kind things to each other. It is true that you can get into good habits just as easy as you can get into bad ones. Instead of arguing back, refuse to be a part of that. Compliment him and praise him (even if you feel like he doesn't deserve it). You will find yourself doing it more often each time you make the effort. He will notice a change in you and that can encourage him to make some changes himself. There are many books, and resource items to help.. find one that works for you both. If he is comfortable talking to others, do counseling, if he is more the type that is not comfortable sharing with a stranger, find a resource that he is more comfortable with (its a little uncomfy for both of u at first but will get easier) I will be praying 4 your situation. Good luck!

    Tzutchka

    Answer by Tzutchka at 10:23 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I would try reading some books first, and then maybe try some counseling. Just because you go to counseling does not mean your marriage is doomed. Before DH and I were married, we had to meet with our pastor a few times. It was like a mini-counseling session and it was great. I learned a lot about my DH before the wedding, and it is really nice to have a 3rd party listen to what you two have to say and interject their advice.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • You can't change the way your husband responds to the little thing that you are arguing about but - you can change how you respond.
    BTW - that's what you'll learn in counseling. If you continue to react the same way, you'll continue to get the same results.
    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 10:41 AM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Me and my husband don't fight anymore.We used to.but we both realized that the fighting was non productive and didn;t change anything.I guess we agreed to dis agree.But we didn't go to counseling.we just got tired of fighting with each other.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:24 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

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