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Could've been my newborn instead of 2 yr old. (Not that it's ok, but...) How would you react?

My husband & I got a frantic call @ 9am that our 2 yr. daughter was bleeding from the mouth & needed to go to the hospital. She & her grandma fell down the stairs at her grandma's house. We have told the grandparents that our daughter can walk the stairs by herself & is old enough to be in a room alone for a little while if they need to run do something in another room. I don't think the basement is anywhere for a child anyway (chemicals & woodworking stuff) & have voiced this many times. Grandpa had left & was about an hr. away w/ the car. The paramedics came & checked them out, said they were fine, but since my girl had bruises on her face she should go to her dr. I told them I would meet them there in 1hr. (Grandpa had to get to them) & they were still 40min. late to the dr! They didn't listen to our requests, my daughter didn't get any medical care for over 2 hrs. after the accident. What would you do/say?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Health

Answers (8)
  • You're lucky that they are watching her and keeping an eye on her. Even if they had left her upstairs she could fall down the stairs trying to find grandma. If the paramedics came and said take her to the doctor then it must not have been that bad. You shouldn't be so quick to knock them. They had her looked at and had to wait for a ride there. If you were so concerned then you should have met them at their house instead of the doctor. Why couldn't you go and pick them up if they didn't have a ride? Where's your responsibility? I would tell them thank you for watching her and I'm glad she's ok

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • If this were my family and my daughter, I wouldn't let her spend extended amounts of time over there anymore. After voicing your opinion about something and them not doing it, I say my child my rules and you're not showing me any respect as a parent to follow them. So I would find another way to let Granny and Grampy see the kiddos. Don't let it happen with the newborn!

    Answer by DearmanMomma at 4:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Well, if grandpa was an hour away with the car, that means it took him an hour to get back home to get them, plus time to load them into the car and then drive to the hospital. So, it doesn't sound (to me) like they were all that late.

    I do hear ya though. I would sit them down and talk with them, and tell them that you specifically asked that she not go into the basement, and that you have told them that she is capable of going down the stairs herself, and then ask them why they insist on ignoring your requests. Don't make this out to be a blame game...accidents happen. But express to them your disappointment that they won't follow your instructions that you leave for your daughter, and explain again what rules you want followed when she is there.

    If they fail to follow the instructions again and it results in injury, then don't leave her alone there anymore.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 4:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I would ask if the grandmother was ok and let them know I understand it was an accident. Your daughter did receive medical attention because the paramedics were called. If there were obvious life threatening injuries the paramedics would have taken her to the hospital. Accidents happen. This same situation could very well have happened in your care. There is no reason to get all worked up and keep the grand parents out of the children's lives. They both did everything they could have to get her to a Dr. Take a deep breath and be thankful you have such loving people in your childrens lives.


    Answer by lvnmylif at 5:16 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

    Things were crazy this morning... we didn't even know where grandpa was at 1st hence why I didn't leave right away b/c I thought he was much closer. I live an hr. away (the dr. is in b/twn) & grandma kept calling us & would then get a beep from grandpa & keep answering it, so it took forever to figure out exactly what was even happening. I offered to come get her at their house, but when they said they'd bring her to the dr. I assumed grandpa would be there soon. I'm concerned b/c I feel that the situation should've been assessed by grandma (my daughter can tell me what hurts & where) instead of a frantic call asking us what to do when we have no idea what happened. It's the 1st accident involving a child, but grandma & grandpa were in an accident Christmas Eve. Grandpa said they hydroplaned... we met them at the accident & the rd. wasn't wet at all... How am I supposed to feel?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • If you live a hour away, do they live with them then? The paramedics came though so you're treating it as though they were doing nothing. They were probably scared and sometimes when people are scared their thoughts aren't exactly clear. Accidents happen...period.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I'm going to just take a guess here, but if the grandparents have heard you react the way you are in this post, I'm going to say they called you in a panic b/c they knew you would get upset. As others have said, they called the paramedics, the paramedics (remember: they are trained medical personnel, who would not leave a child that is seriously injured with just a "take her to the dr."), and when grandpa got home, they took her to the dr. They did exactly what they should have. And frankly, more than some would have. Some would have simply called you, and expected you to take care of it all. And, also as others have said, this could just as easily have happened with you, so at the risk of being accused of bashing, cut them some slack. If you don't trust them, then don't leave your children with them. The accident at Christmas Eve apparently worried you, but you didn't do anything. Why did you wait til this to get so upset?

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I am sure that Grandma feels really terrible, imagine how she had to feel calling and telling you. Kids fall and get hurt all the time, your daughter was okay. What seems out of place here is how mad you are about the inconvenience you suffered. My kids would have been scared being left alone in any house that wasn't home when they were 2. I don't think Grandma was out of line taking her with her, sorry lady, she's older and probably had concerns about getting back to her quick enough.

    My question is more along your lack of concern for people who obviously love your child dearly and are quite obviously having some difficulties with their age progression. My guess is that they aren't your parents and you obviously are harboring some sort of resentment towards them for whatever reason. Try to have a hear for them too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

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