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My son name not in the class friedshiplist list they sent everybody, hurts me a lot!

My son is 7 years old. When I talked to the teacher last time she was saying he is not doing his best. Then next 2-4 weeks she sent notes that what a difference, he is doing very well.Even last week she was saying the same thing. His test result is good. I know he is energic. But last time she added he got a lot of friend in a short time. He is so good with the other kids. But today I got a list which is named class friendship list , my son and 2 more kids are not in the list. And my son told me that teacher said only 3 person(she told their name infront of the class)not in the list and she gave this list to my son, sent me. Everybodies family name adress and tel no in the list-title friendship list of the class and my son name is not. Not even informed me about his unfriendship statuation if it is, before. That hurts me a lot.

What to do, do you think this is the right thing they di d as panishment?
Please help!


Asked by gingercakegirl at 4:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (22)
  • I have to say that it may be that she sent out a note for the students to get signed to get permission to have their name and addresses included and she assumed you didnt give permission when she didnt get a permission slip back. Is it possible that your son could have lost it? I know mine do that with a few things and have to get a replacement slip or forget totally that they needed a permission slip at all. Just a thought. Here at our school and it is public school. They wont even allow the kids to hand out birthday invitations during the day. You have to try and catch all of them as they run to the cars and busses. It may be a mistake still. The other 2 kids may have forgotten or their parents refused to allow them to give out their info.

    Answer by krys1973 at 11:37 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • If it was a form of punishment, it was a cruel one! Take it up with the pricipal right away! I don't send my kids to public school, so I don't know if it's legal to send out your personal info like that, but it doesn't sound right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Talk to the principal. I agree that this was horribly cruel. In addition, it is quite possibly illegal for the teacher to hand out such information.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 5:24 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Yes, by all means go and have a talk with the principal as soon as possible (be sure and take a copy of the list). This sounds completely inappropriate, and I cannot imagine a teacher doing such a thing.

    As for sending out personal information for the other children, it has been my experience that the school asks permission before sending out phone numbers, addresses, etc.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 5:34 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I would set up a meeting with the teacher and the principal. At first, when I read it, I thought he was the only one left off, and I was going to say maybe it was an honest mistake, just a poorly timed oops. But, if there are 3 kids, that is clearly no oops. I would meet with her and the principal at the same time, though, so that she can't give the principal a different story than she gives you. I'd start with how she said he wasn't doing his best, but then she noted an improvement and that he was making friends. I'd also make a point of telling them what your son said, about her saying their names in front of the class. I've never felt that humiliating a child like that is appropriate, punishment or otherwise. And that is not an appropriate punishment, regardless of what he did.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • One more others have mentioned, schools can't send that info out w/o your permission. I know I, personally, inform the school at the beginning of each school yr not to give out my children's info. Did you do that? If so, perhaps that is why the 3 kids were left off...maybe you, and their parents, requested not to give out the info, so they didn't. If you think you might have done that, then I'd check that first before setting up the meeting. Just in case.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:46 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Punishment? NO, that is mental abuse. A child told that he's not good enough. That is abuse! Take it up the chain until you get a satisfactory resolution. How rude and hurtful, no matter what, to single the kids out like that and make them feel less than the rest of the class.

    Answer by ktthatsmeinca at 7:36 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I have to agree with Tropicalmama make sure you are not on the list of no info, I do the yearbook for our school and there are 4 children that we cant even list in the yearbook. I know that we have to sign a release for any information to be given out by the school and another one for the information from the teacher so if you not on that list and she did that then you definetly have a case and need to take it up with the principal. If she doesn't resolve it than go above her. That was cruel and demeaning and I would demand that my child be moved from her class. If it turns out that it was on purpose write a formal letter of complaint and send it to the district asking that they place it in her employment file, they have to do this. Be sure to follow up on it.

    Answer by swhithorn at 8:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I'd yank my kid out of that envornment SO fast! I wish I could hug your son :( I'm sorry that happened to him.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 10:22 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I think that is total B.S . l would make a stink the school would never forget

    Answer by CSRodriguez at 11:42 PM on Apr. 1, 2009