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Any Suggestions On How To Rid My Home Of An Addict/Alcoholic Husband

We got married after we had dated/lived together for a little over a year. Apparently, I'm a little naive and a little stupid (for lack of a better word) because I had no idea of the severity of my husband's drug and alcohol problems. Soon, after we'd said our vows, more and more of this came to light. He has done everything from meth to pot and is currently taking pain killers and drinking heavily (heavily defined as it doesn't take much alcohol to get you wasted after you've popped 5-10 lortab).

I am tired of riding this roller coaster.

I have a son (9) and we have 2 children together (3, 4). I have been physically abused and the mental abuse afflicted on my son has progressively gotten worse. There are times when I would like to just call the cops, but my emotions always seem to get the best of me.

I own our home.. and do not want to leave. I want him to leave.

Any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Go and file for seperation, that will ensure you get the house and the kids stay with you. Or next time he touches you file for a restraining order and he will have to leave then too. If you file for seperation you can also request that he get treatment for his problem. Sorry, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I know emotions get in the way, but you want to do this before you kids are old enough any more harm is done, and you dont want them to see you treatedt his way either.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 6:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • My first husband was cheating on me, and had the nerve to tell me he didn't love me anymore.Duh.Like I couldn't figure that one out.so I had enough and threw his clothes in to the front yard.He refused to leave and I threw his sock drawer at him.He left after that.and the neighbors had a good show to watch.but if you put him out,Please change your locks immediately.He could come back and take whatever he wants when no one is home.I got home from work 3 days after putting him out and he was sitting on my steps.Telling me he tried to get in but his key didn't fit.He was going to take what he wanted.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 6:47 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • It is to the point where your emotions are putting your kids at risk, and that is NOT ok. Your kids need to come first.

    Do you have any hope for your relationship? Have you told him you want him to get help, and go to couples counseling?

    Have you told him that you want to separate? If you have not because you fear for your safety, then it may be best to do it the next time he touches you. When they take him away, please press charges, and then file for divorce and a restraining order.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:49 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Pack his belongings, leave them on the front lawn, and change the locks.

    He'll get the message..... after he's sobered up a little.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 6:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I told mine to get out. I filed for divorce. end of that story. I was not going to allow him or his bad habits around my children (his step children)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:51 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Take a look at the laws for your state. Every state and county is different. Your best bet is to learn as much as you can and quickly. Do not play around with this guy, mainly for your kids safety and your own. Most important detail is to follow through. Once things are set in motion keep your head up and be strong. People are good at lieing and some will get desperate. Lie and tell you that things will change. Mostly to geto ut of charges. But you have to stay strong and follow through!
    micki1985

    Answer by micki1985 at 10:21 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I would consult a lawyer, find out what your rights are and what the laws are in your state. Then once you are informed file for divorce. I'd make sure to pack up all his things and either put them in the garage for him to pick up or have a friend/relative of his pick them up - and then I would change the locks.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Call the cops the next time there is an incident and have him arrested. As soon as he is out the door go have a restraining order put on him and change the locks. I had almost the same problem with my ex. I tried everything and he would either not leave or come back. It took getting him arrested and an restraining order to keep him away and a divorce to keep him away. Stay strong and if you need someone to talk to I am here. Been there and I understand. I cried while they took him away but now 2 yrs later I am SO glad to have my life back.
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 10:30 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • I also wanted to share that my oldest son who wasn't his also got mentally abused by him and is still angry over how long it took me to get him out of our lives, and I can see now how badly this effected him. Get out now for your sons sake if not your own. Your son needs you to help him.
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 10:32 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

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