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Just found out i am having a boy, and i cried :(

i feel so bad that after I found out I was having a boy i cried my eyes out, all I can think is OMG he is gonna end up like his father. (who left me and 4 other girls pregnant and alone) which I didnt know until I went to his mother to inform her about her soon to be grandbabie. apperently he does this to every girl hes been with, 4 babies, 4 women!!!! now all i can think is OMG I am gonna give birth to a baby making woman leaver.. how can I feel better about this, because I feel like SUCH a bad mom right now. we were together for 2 years and I knew NOTHING about him, and I thought I new everything I thoight we had no secrets, I was wrong, and now I feel like i am lost.

 
judith_visco

Asked by judith_visco at 6:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (13)
  • Chances are, you'll raise the exact opposite of this baby's father so don't worry about it. Especially if he never sees the child. I am sorry to hear about it but it is better to know now. Boys are so wonderful! No drama, sweet, loving, very easy. You will look back and laugh at this. For what it's worth, I cried too at the news of having my boys but I'm so grateful. Not that little girls aren't lovely. it's just what I got.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Think of it the opposite way then you are. You are not with the man anymore, and you can take this opportunity to make sure that you raise a caring, woman respecting, great young man.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:52 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • The way your son is going to turn out is up to YOU! NOT the father. Is the child gonna know his father? If the father is not going to be in the childs life, then he's most likely gonna take on YOUR traits. It's the lifestyle that a child grows up in, what kind of household the child is in. Since the child isn't really gonna have a father figure, he's gonna take on YOUR TRAITS. How YOU take life, how YOU handle situations. YOU ARE going to the role model in his life, NOT the father. Until you find a really good guy to help you raise your children, it's ALL UP TO YOU, how these children are going to grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I agree, most boys who have dead beat dads like that feel bad for their mom adn are respectful to women to make sure they are not like that. GL, it is how you raise him, not his genes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • its ok sweety that samething happen to me. the baby doesnt have to be just like his dad. everything is going to be fine dont worry think about u and ur baby. i wish u all the best.
    karema032000

    Answer by karema032000 at 6:57 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Raise your son in a loving and protective environment. Teach him--by example and with words--to respect women. Raise him to be a responsible, caring man.

    Our genes don't dictate who we become, but being raised in the proper environment has a HUGE impact.
    sariejack

    Answer by sariejack at 6:58 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I know, and I want him to be like me and he will NEVER see his father, not even because I dont want him around, because I know he wont be around. But I am gonna be a single mother and I am afraid that he wont have any males to look up too and will learn how to be a man from his friends or something because obviously I cant teach him the things he needs to know to be "manly" I feel like being a woman my opinion is bias, and he will fight with me because there is no man in his life.
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 6:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Do you have your dad? Or a brother maybe? How bout a close male friend? Just some one he can look up to as a male figure?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • My dad is no better than his father and I only have sisters, the one brother in law I have lives 2000 miles away with my sister. I dont know what I will do. I have one friend and that too is a woman. And now I feel that I SHOULDNT look for a man, because OBVIOUSLY i dont know how to read people very well because I thought his father was a good man, and honest. and BOY oh BOY was I wrong.
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 7:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • It kinda looks like your son won't have his father often in his life, so there's not gonna be much influence from his father. And if you give him, by hanging out yourself as he grows starting in infancy upward in age, better female and male influences by the crowds you're in then he'll likely end up like you - good. Crowds that are good are library mommy and me times, tiger cub boy scouts and older scouts (they are super super good at mentoring kids with fathers and mothers who are absent. 4H is great for nuturing kids with and without a parent. So, even with out an official father figure in his life with your help and good things in society that you choose to be active, baby will grow GORGEOUS!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

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