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My 19 yr old stepson refuses to work and my husband doesn't force the issue...HELP

I am at my wits end with my lazy 19yr old stepson. He refuses to work, he has no insurance and is a Type I Diabetic. He lays on the couch while my husband (who had a heart attack 1yr ago) mows the grass. He eats our food and complains there isn't anythjng to eat. I am seriously thinking of leaving.

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Asked by mrsa1028 at 7:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (15)
  • Your in a bad situation. Sit down with both your husband and step son and tell them if things dont change your not going to sit and watch your husband die. Tell them if things dont change by the following week your out of there. STick to your threat.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:16 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • This needs to be handled delicately, because if you come on too rash then it may come off as you trying to make your husband put you before his kid. I am not saying the kid is right, he is totally wrong, but your husband needs to be the one to deal with it.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • kick him out.

    Answer by babybomer101 at 7:26 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I had the same thing happen to me when I first married my DH. He didn't even want his 19 yr. old son to take out the garbage. When we went out of town, we had to pay someone to come over to feed our dogs b/c we couldn't depend on him. I did his laundry for a whole year (DH would get mad at me if I said anything about it!) I finally said "enough!" And then when his son moved out, he blamed me! Needless to say, we do not have the best relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Wives DO come before kids!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • babybomer, easier said than done. If you've got a supportive husband that is normal, he would probably agree with doing that. If you don't, you're definitely going to be the bad guy!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I feel for you, I have an 19 ds who was the same way until he found a job that excited him, he just got hired today! Every other job I brought up to him he ignored until he found this one. Thank Goodness!!! So maybe try to find out what he would like to do for a job and steer him in that direction. That's all I have for advice, because my son has drove me nuts the past few months, but now he will be working and going to school! YEAH!!! Needless to say jobs today are very hard to find.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • I'm a stepmom to a 18 yr old and really know how you feel. Until you can get your husband the same page, man it's sooooo stressful. And for the record I thought of leaving several times. He was the cause of our BIG arguements. Finally, something click just this year and he has really seen him in a new light. You got to get through to the husband, with out and arguement because he will just shut down. My hubby was mowing the lawn too, why he played playstation. I was furious. And he didn't want to clean up anything, not his room, not his bathroom nothing. But I didn't do it either. When my husband got fed up of smelling it he had him clean but HE had to get sick of it, me telling him didn't mean a thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Show him the door. If daddy don't like it..he can go too.

    Answer by wingnut14 at 11:33 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

  • Why should you leave? He needs to leave...

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 11:50 AM on Apr. 2, 2009

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