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What do I do with my baby?

Ok, so when I was 16, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't sleeping around; I was raped. I wanted to put the baby up for adoption, but my mother absolutely wouldn't hear of it. Stupid me listened to her, and so now here I am with a two-year-old, and I still absolutely hate being a mother. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my daughter, but I hate being a parent. I am miserable with my life. I've started thinking about adoption again recently, but I just feel like such an awful person for even thinking about it. I'm married now, and we can definitely support her, but I just don't want to do it. I often even feel like the only reason i even got married in the first place was to give her a better life. I'm just utterly unhappy. What do I do???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Apr. 1, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (46)
  • To tell you to raise her daughter and not to place her for adoption is so inappropriate. So would telling her she needs to place her daughter for adoption. The path to finding out what is best for both you and this child is not going to be easy OP. Yes all parents feel defeated or not cut out from time to time. But the majority of parents are not raising a child conceived from a rape. That complicates her situation and it also complicates her daughter's life as well. No one can say it is best for your child to be with you. A child would not want to grow up in a home where a parent felt that, despite loving her, that they just couldn't accept all of her - some underlying heavy and complicated feelings she will pick up on for sure. A good therapist will assist you in finding out if you can move to a place where you and her can be beyond the rape. There is no shame in the fact that some women cannot.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Apr. 3, 2009

  • Would your mom be willing to take custody of her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Please, get into counseling. A professional third party can help you.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Im sorry that you got raped but you shouldnt take it out on your daughter poor baby i wouldnt be able to give my kid up for adoption my son means the whole world to me i just dont unster why you'll be ale to let your child go i know your still a little kid but its your choice you do what you want its not our choice in making it for you..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • understand*
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Wow you getting raped was'nt your daughters fault. It sounds to me you are blameing her for how she came to this world shes the best part of you in this world. It also sounds like you don't like who you married. I hope he loves and cares for your daughter you need to look into getting some help and maybe some parenting classes. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • If your hubby is the legal father then he has rights to the child too. Why not just give her to him?
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:14 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • She never said she didnt love her daughter. She just said she is unhappy being a mom. I totally get that. First off, try to get some help. Maybe they can help sort out your feelings toward this and open you up to being a mother. Or like another poster said, maybe you could see if your mother could take custody? Explain to her how you feel. Get help and try to sort it out to see if YOU can be a better mother then if that fails talk to your mom if you are still intent on what you are feeling. GL with everything.
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 10:16 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • Give the baby to your MOM ! when you get older later on your gonna want to have more kids then your gonna look back wow i already had one child but no i was being such a dumbass i gave my child up i agree with everyone seek counsling NOW! You say you love your chile be obvioulsy you dont or non of these thoughts will be in your head
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Apr. 1, 2009

  • oops child i mean
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Apr. 1, 2009